Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Dementia part Deux.............

yep....it's here.  The mom got the diagnosis after having 2 heart attacks in as many days.  The first one she refused treatment once the pain was under control.  The second one she wasn't given a choice.  Nitro wouldn't relieved the pain. So one week in the hospital getting 2 stints and she's sort of back to normal..whatever that is.
But...the Dr. says that whatever was going on in her heart was probably going on in her head.  Enter Dementia.  Mafugly ugly desease!!!!
It's not as bad as Dad's was.  Not yet anyway.  Dear God please don't let it get there either!!
I'm tough as nails...but can be as weak as a young sapling...
I'm strong as a rock...but can break like a china cup...
I'm head strong ...but can melt like snow at any given moment...

The only saving grace in this whole picture....if that's what i can call it....is that she's let go of most of her criticalness...is that a word???

She forgets too easily to criticize me.  Finally........i'm free of that after 57 years...but at what cost???

I can't change the past...i can only accept what the future has in store for me and go with it.  I'll survive the challenge; and i;ll be intact when it's over. 
I'll be stronger than i ever knew.
I'll be more compassionate than i thought i could be.
I will love easier and forgive faster.

I think..............