Friday, June 29, 2007

paint and spackle

My everyday routine of painting and spackleing is hard these days. Why you ask ? Because I've got an enormous elfing coldsore right under my nose!!!!!! Geez-o-pete!!!!! I take medicine every elfing day...2 x's a day as a mater of fact. So, why the breakthrough???? When was I stressed out??? Answers! I want answers!!! Gawd I HATE these things!!!
I did something really bad in a past life to keep getting these in this life!! I must have been a very naughty girl. ( tee-hee)
So, a message to the Universe!!!!!
I get it! Really I do!! I'm a good girl in this life so take the friggin shit back!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's it.....I'm toast!
I'm outie~~

catching up

I had a considerable amount of free time yesterday so I decided to do some catching up. I phoned a few pl I haven't talked to in quite a while. Made me sad and glad at the same time. One gal I talked to, let's call her 'Mercedes', is such a doll. I've known her for about 10 years and watched her go through 2 pregnancies, a few cruises to fun places and several hairstyles. :) I remember how one Halloween( while pregnant) she dressed up as a California Raisen. Cracked me up!! She looked more like a Umpaloompa! Oh, wait...that's what MY branch dressed up as...too funny...I was Willy Wonka. If I ever figure out how to scan pictures I'll post a pic. It will put a big smile on your face for sure. Anyway.............................................
She's such a sweetie. I miss her. She is one of the few friends I have that I can trust to always tell me the truth...no matter what the subject. That's rare I think. Well, my BFF does that but not all of my other friends. It made me realize how trust makes a friendship last. Anyway, she thinks my blog is sort of .....funny, for lack of a better word. It makes her chuckle. I hope after reading all of it she doesn't discover how strange I can be. Or better yet, I hope she "appreciates" my little quirks. Love you, Mercedes!!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Out w/ the old

My precious Sunshine girl put our old furniture on Craig's List to sell for us. I thought she was asking a bit too much because the couch and love seat were well used...the dresser was a really great piece though....the chair was so-so. Anyway, later I told her to put garage sale prices on it and 'Bam!"; She got about 20 inquiries. She sold it all and we got our garage back. Yea!!! So, since she did all the work we told her to keep the $$$ and put it towards her new house that's being built. Bless her heart, when she found that out she wished she would have held out for more $$$. But we just couldn't wait to get our garage back. Some is better than none though. She was very happy. :) The couple who bought the stuff were expecting a baby and really needed some furniture. The garage sale prices turned out good. I'd rather give it to someone who really needs stuff ya know? Lovee and I were there many moons ago. Our first living room furniture came from a garage sale too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I'm being affected ( is it 'aff' or 'eff' ?)by SAD. It's ridiculously rainy here. Everything is starting to smell like a swamp. UGH!!! Go away!! We can't do anything outside...can't mow can't swim!!, can't play in the flower beds........shitfuckdamn!!! I think I can actually feel the webbing growing between my toes! I'm gonna start quacking soon. I need some sun!! LEO's need sun!!
So on that note, I think I'll go take a soakie and give it fup for the day.
Adios'

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Ridiculous querie...

Ok, this is gonna sound gross and possibly a bit stupid but I'm going to inquire anyway. It's actually something I've wondered about for a long time. I had to get the parents to their Heart Dr. early today for some fasting tests.( Geesh, got up at 4:45 for this one to have them there by 7 a.m.)Anyway, I kept seeing some uh,.....uh,...well there's not a polite way to put this; some really,really big people. One guy actually looked like he was pregnant with triplets or something. And the spouses of these men were a bit on the heavy side too. I'm not talking a few lbs. either...I'm talking Kirstie Alley before Jenny Craig big. Ok, so here's the question( which you've probably surmised by now)..How do they 'do it'? Seriously!!! I mean being that heavy is a really bad thing for your heart anyway but how do 2 really big ppl 'do it'? One really big bellied person and another regular sized person..yes...I can see that....cuz P>G> ppl do it all the time ( snicker-snicker-TWEB!!)
Anyway I sat in that office for 3 hours and had nothing to do but ppl watch and that stupid thought stayed w/ me the whole time. Geesh tt, get a life....or better yet take your book w/ you!

Anyway..that's all that has rambled in the grape today. Got up too early for anything else. Plus I had absolutely NO caffiene today.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

One more thing

Got Suzi back today. They finally fixed the air. But you know what griped me?? I thought they would have at least washed it before they gave it back to me and taken their paper floor mat with them. Granted it's not an expensive car, but we only bought it in March? maybe...it's a 2007.......and ya can't even give me a little sudzin'?? The survey I get to fill out will have my displeasure written all over it in RED ink!!!
Shame!Shame!
If I had been able to get there when the Service dept was still open......they would already known of my...feelings. Lucky for them.....

Mani-Pedi update and more superfulous stuff

OMG!! I'm totally hooked. She didn't hurt my toes at all....and that really surprised me but also made me mucho happy. I'm gonna do it again in 6 weeks. Hummm, it may become addicting. :)
Also went ahead and had a mani...also fabulous. I picked out a really lame color though. It looked good in the bottle and I like it on my toes but I went ahead and got it on my fingers..no like so much there. So, I'll probably take it off in a few days. Maybe...if the swelling in my finger goes down that is. UGH....I'm not sure if it's just terribly bruised or if it may be cracked. Of course the only way to be sure is to get an exray and I probably won't do that...unless the pain stays around. I've probably said this a time or two, but I'm a total klutz; a bull in a china closet.

I had been to the pool place to get chemicals. They were all put into one very heavy box. You know where I'm going w/ this??? It can't stay in the car cuz the heat wouldn't be good for them. I park in front of the Parents house and get out; go around to the front passenger side to get the 'big box'; Finally heaved it up to the hood of the Couger. I go inside and ask the Dad to hold the door open for me, I go get the 'very heavy box' and get inside the house and as I trun to go into the livingroom...WHAM!!!!! I hit the door jam w/ the full weight of that elfing ,heavy S.O.B. of a box slamming into my knuckles. PASHit %^*&^$%#$$%##^()_(*&%^$%!%&**( mother f**&%$(!$%%*^&^@!&^(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. My poor dad, who can't see well anyway had no idea what just took place, except that now, his sweet little girl is almost speaking in tongues and doing some kind of freak dance around the house and he doesn't know why. :)
You know how when you really hurt yourself and all you can do is try and block out how damn much it hurts and breathe, breathe, breathe, in the hopes you won't pass out??? and you just can't stand it when someone talks to you because your concentrateing soooo hard??!!That was me but the Parents kept asking questions ( naturally- hoping I was really their daughter and not the alien imposter that I was acting like) trying to find out what I had done.
The pain subsided about 30 minutes later and I could speak. I swear it hurt as bad as when I broke my toe...both times! But, good news is that I can sort of bend it now. It's swollen a bit and still hurts..DON"T TOUCH IT!!!!... probably a bad bruise...maybe a crack...I just want it to get better before next Tuesday when I have to do the 'wet' cleaning.....! It's the middle finger on my right hand.( of course)
I'm such a 'company girl'...ha ha....my employers won't like me slacking off. :)
So, since it's really starting to hurt with all this typing...I'm outta here....

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

FYI

I'm getting my first ever Pedicure today!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really apprehensive about it though. Sisterlittle gave it to me and Mom for Mother's day. She's so sweet! But I've never had one.... on purpose. I think I've said before, but my second toes are messed up from when I was dancing on point. Yep, I'm a freak and my second toes are longer that my first. Anyway...those toes took most of the punishment when I danced and the nails are sooooo screwed up from it. They hurt most of the time. I should have had them fixed but obviously I haven't....so there it is.......
More on that later..........

Suzi SU-V is sick

I had to drop off my little Suzi last night. The air conditioner isn't working very well. Only had that car a few months and it's already in the shop. That does not make me happy. It almost feels like it's out of Freon. Anyway, Lovee picked me up at the dealership; I'm still sweating like an oldie :) and I get in my old car ( 97 Cougar- pretty Kittie!!) and It's elfin' freezing in there!!!
I had tried to convince myself earlier that the airconditioning was working but it was just too humid and hot to be very cold; but once I got in the Couger I deleted that thought for good! WTF!! I'm not very nice when I get too hot and can't cool off. UGH!!! So, today I'm driving the Cougar and Lovee is in the Chevy. I've got air and he doesn't. I don't like that cuz he's the one who works outside all day and could really benefit from the cool air on the drive home. But he's......he's.......stubborn ( no!!! really??) and loving ( always!!) and gave me the air. Love my Lovee!!

stuff

So, yesterday the Mom tells me I need to slow down when I'm filling their pill boxes...because, even though Dad doesn't know what pills he takes SHE knows what she takes and she was missing some. So, hummmmm, that's odd but I tell her ok. Well, what do I find when I'm mopping the floor? Yep, her pills. What do I find on the floor in the Den? Yep, Dad's pills. So, I casually mention to her that I found the missing pills. End of discussion. :)

I made the Dad a blanket for Fathers Day. He's always cold. It's 95 degrees outside but he's cold! Sisterlittle found him the 'Tickle Me Elmo' we had wanted to give him for Christmas. He loves it!! It is fun to watch that's for sure. He loves talking toys. Maybe because he can't see well anymore??....not sure. So anyway, I'm doing my wet cleaning,upstairs where it's the hottest, sweatin' my noogies off; sweat literally dripping down my face and I come downstairs and what do I see? My wee little Dad bundled up in his blanket sleeping. First thought is 'Ahhh, he's so cute' , second thought is 'Are you freaking kidding me? It's 85 freaking degrees in this house!'[[ as I wipe the sweat out of my eyes]]....So I go guzzle some water like I've been marooned on a desert Isle for 7 years, turn on the ceiling fan and plop down on the sofa. Geesh, it's gonna be a loooong summer. :)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Superfulous rambles.....

Ya know...I'm not sure if my work day can get any easier. I propably just jinxed myself but that's ok. Actually that's not ok...now one of them will probably get sick and I'll have to stay there 24/7. Well, it is what it is. I actually have more time off working for the parental units than I did at the bank. I'm kinda liking that. Yesterday, Monday, was supposed to be a day off for me but, the Units had already scheduled a Dr. appt. w/ their Cardiologist. So we went...and I got home about 1:30. Had errands to run before I left T-town so that put me home a wee bit later than I would have liked. That's ok too. No sweat.
I had to get some stuff for the pool so we can get it open. YAY!!! We LOVE the pool. So fun and cooling.

Lovee bought a Solar heater for it so that hopefully, we can swim longer in the season and possibly open it up sooner next year. I'm a total weenie when it comes to cold water. If the water is under 86 degrees it just feels too cold to me. I prefer it to be about 90; which is still cool beleave it or not. Anyway, he got that all hooked up and brought the water level up. Now all we've got to do is vacuum it and add chemicals. I can't wait! I love to play in the water!I'm a water baby!
Last year on my Birthday, Pups and ETK surprised me and were waiting by the pool when I got home from work! How neat that was! Completely blew me away. Love me some kiddos.

Our barn ( shed ) is finally built. Now Lovee can get all of his yard equipment out of the 3rd garage. FINALLY! He has so much stuff...and it was all crammed in with his woodworking tools.
I'll have to post a pic of that too.... maybe.

Sunshine put some of our old furniture on Craig's List. I'd like to just call Am Vets to come and haul it away but she and Lovee think we might be able to get a few $$ out of it. We'll see. I was going to sell our Dinette set but I made the mistake of telling the Units of my plan and the Mom got a wee bit upset. How can you "keep house w/o a Dining room set?" Yea, that's her reply to most things. (ie: how can you keep house w/o a hand mixer?) uh, dunno Mom.
Anyway I was going to get rid of it and put a desk in there. But I guess that'll have to wait. No reason to upset her if it's not necessary. I do want to get rid of the bunk beds from one of the bedrooms though. That's 'supposed' to be the sewing room/computer room.....but I thought we needed beds in there a few years ago when we had kids moving in and out. Now...I'm through with that idea and want my room back. Gotta get the puter out of the dining room!

Ok, now that I've downloaded all of this stuff in my grape...maybe I'll quit thinking about it.Sheesh, I needed to make room for other nonsensical stuff! :)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Ahhhh, how cute!!

Well the pics of the 57 Plymouth didn't come out...so I'll give all ya'll another pic of Lovee and me.
I knew you'd be excited about that. :) We were hot and tired and actually looked it but, hey..
who cares right?
I'm just happy that it only took me about half an hour to do this. LOL!! Yep, only half an hour. Am I good or what.{{NOT!!}}

My Flamingo!!

Don't you just love it???!!! The old English garden gate, my sisterlittle gave to me for my B-day ( early) thank you very much!!! The Flamingo I got at a Flea market. I've got to get Lovee to show me where the other pics are located. I need to show you a pic of the 57 Plymouth and a pic I took of us at the event. We're so cute. ha ha Plus a pic of my Sisterlittle's p.j.'s with the Flamingo's on it that I'm going to turn into my new tattoo!! Yay for me!
More later.
Anyway

Friday, June 15, 2007

Belvedere...burried in 1957

Well, Lovee and I went to the unveiling of a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere tonight. It had been buried in June of 1957 along w/ a time capsule. Everything in the t/c was great but the '57 was a rust bucket. Lovee was sooo disappointed! We had great seats though...probably because we stood in line about an hour waiting to the doors to open. It was first come first serve for the tickets we had. They had other tickets which cost more that were supposed to be better seats down on the floor, but hell...on the floor you can't see squat! So we ordered the cheap tickets and had a great view. We stayed a couple hours then left. It's a piece of history for our fair town and was fun to do. We found out they buried a 1998 something or other back in 1998 but I don't think we'll be around for that one. Heck, 50 years from that date and I'll be......lets just say...'dust in the wind'.
I'll try and find a pic of it and post. Lovee downloaded a bunch but I'm not sure if they came out very good.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

OMG!!!!!!!!







Ok, we got the furniture today!! I know it's probably lame to gush about new furniture but I'm just so elfing excited. It really doesn't take much to put a smile on my face or make me happy. I'm a pretty easy going gal..I think anyway. But, you'd think I just won the lottery or something!! It's new furniture tt not Publishers clearinghouse!
Anyway, I'm going to try and post a couple pics.
Wow...one showed up..hummm, not sure how I did that.... anyway, this is a pic of the Bed and Night stand. (duh!) The walls are actually Nantucket Red but they look pink in the picture..uck.
Let me see if I can do another..( ha ha ....how fun is this?!)
Ok, remember I'm new at this picture thing. They went on top of what I've typed...I'll do it different next time.
Anyway......new couch is on here too. The color is called Brigadoon green. Yummy is more like it! There is a chair too but I'm not sure which pic it's in so you'll have to imagine untillI figure it out! LOL......I'm sooo techno challenged.
It's late and the sleepies are after me.....
More another day.
;)

Monday, June 11, 2007

No pics yet :(

I was going to post a few pictures today. BUT...............the cord to the thing-a-majig is at Sunshines Condo so I'll have to wait a couple days. Which is actually ok. That way I can take pics of the new furniture and post it too. I know you're anxious too right?
There had better not be any fubar going on tomorrow. I'd cry and that my sweeties is not a pretty site!

Change of plans---naturally :)

It's a woman's perogative to change her mind right? Well, actually Lovee and I changed our minds together. We were going to do the whole patio thing but decided to get a wee bit more practical. So, we bought a new livingroom set and bedroom set!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This will be our 4th new couch since we've been married but we haven't had a complete set ever! Mostly a hodge-podge of stuff that we've liked and thrown together. Same with the bedroom. Actually my dresser is the one my parents had when I was just a wee sprout! Can you beleave that? It's such a great piece. I adore it. That may have to be reworked and put in the spare room...not sure. The new stuff is a dark wood which is completely new for us. We've always gone with a Honey Oak look before, but we really wanted something that looks...ummm...what's the word?...rich or maybe sophistocated, I think. That gets delivered tomorrow!!!! I'm really excited can you tell!? PLUS...........we finally bought Lovee a shed for the backyard. YAY!! Our third garage is crammed full with all his woodworking stuff and yard stuff. It's insanely packed. The company is booked for about 3 weeks but that's ok. They will build it on site and it conforms with our HOA. Ya gotta make the HOA happy right?
Lordie we made alot of progress today. Spent alot of $$ but gracious it was fun. ha :)

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Nice and Easy

Huh....sounds like I colored my hair doesn't it? Naw...didn't happen. But that's the way this weekend has gone. It's been great having Sisterlittle here. She did some online homework at our house a couple times. We went to the Flea Market on Saturday, which is something we always do when she's here. I found the cutest piece of yard art!! I have a thing for Flamingos and guess what I found?! Yep.........an iron 'pink' flamingo! I only got one so Lovee wouldn't freak out on me, but as it turns out he really likes it. So much so that next Saturday we're going to get one more!! I don't know if he actually likes it or not, but he knows how much I love them so he's being a really good sport about it. What a guy!
Also, at another place that a friend of Sisterlittle owns we found a fabulous old English garden gate!! She gave me that for my early birthday present..It's so cute in the corner of a flower bed in the front of the house. OHHHHH........I've gotta take pics to show you huh!!
ALSO.......sisterlittle has pj's that have flamingo's on them that's exactly what I want for my next tattoo!! Yay!!!! I gotta get the pics of that put on here too!

Went to the Country Club for their buffet brunch today. My parents think we like going there for some reason...we actually don't. The food isn't all that good and as picky as my Dad is he hardly finds anything to eat that he likes. I have to go w/ him around the tables to point out what there is because his sight is so bad. I like doing that actually. I wish he could see but I like that he counts on me to show him stuff. Anyway........sisterlittle found something for us to give him for Fathers Day. We wanted it for Christmas but couldn't find it. It's the TMX Tickle Me Elmo!!! He LOVES talking toys. We gave it to him at the club but didn't actually get to show him how it works untill we got home. That thing is a blast. We laughed so hard. My Dad thought it was great. We love to see him laugh!*sigh*

Sis-little leaves tomorrow morning...{*snif*heavy-sigh**} I miss her so much when she's gone.
I wasn't a very good sister to her when we were little. I was so obnoxious and mean to her. Anyway, that fence has been mended and I just love her to pieces!! Squeezers to her!!! :)


Lovee and I are going to start looking into having an additional patio poured. It's something we've wanted to do ever since we got back from Greece. More on that later!

Lots of storms this weekend...love them!!!
More later.............gotta go do stuff........

Friday, June 8, 2007

tt and Lovee

Cozied up in Pup's Mini Coupe

AHA!!!! With the help of Tweb's wonderful detailed instructions coupled with my fantastic Sisterlittle's delicious grape.....I got to post a picture!!! Duh! I'm so excited!
In fact, Sisterlittle figured out how I can get to Lovee's ...uh....whatever...to get the pics!
So, stand by ppl............I'll probably be like a kid in a candy store for a while .
Tis pic was taken when Lovee and I went to visit Pups and Alli in H-town on our mini vacation.
We had a great time. Now Lovee wants a Mini S. Only he wants a red one. Naturally.
Woo-hoo.....................

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I'm a cry-bag~~~

Yep...I cry. Well, not exactly cry, but I get throat lumps all the time. And if I'm not careful I WILL cry. Biggly. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing...nothing is too trivial to set me off. Anything can set me off. A commercial or an article in the paper or a book....a Hymn in church, a song on the radio...you name it and I can get a throat lump in an instant. There have even been times I was going to tell someone about something I either read or heard and I couldn't because just the thought gave me the 'T-L'. How weird is that? It actually prevents me from talking to some people. Like I was going to tell a gal at the folks church that the talk she gave was really inspiring and the topic was really infectious. But I couldn't. Whenever I approached her I got the dreaded T-L and turned around. It's an interesting phemon I think. Why am I so emotional?! And it's not just recent either. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. It drives me Nucking Futs!
More random shit just floating around the grape.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Aaaaarrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!

Ya know what drives me insane? Stupid assholes who like to drive in the fast lane too slow! I think it's a control thing....like maybe being in a car going 40 when everybody else is trying to go 65 makes them feel superior or something....no one can 'make' them move out of the way. Of course, then there are the other stupid drivers who ride their slow ass for miles thinking that will make them go faster...as if!!!! THEN, whenever they finally decide that isn't going to work they pass on the right and then cut back over right in front of them. You just know they're thinking" aha, take that you bitch". Again.... as if!!! Who's being the stupid control freak now? I must have watched that 3 or 4 times today.
Are people feeling that the HWY is the only place where they can have some control these days?
GET OUTA MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not a good start to my day.

But my sisterlittle is here. YAY!!
She was the bright spot to my day. Well, her and lovee ...gotta love em!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

visitors!!!!

YAY!!!!! My sister, aka-Sisterlittle, will be here tomorrow!!!! I'm so excited! She'll have a busy visit while she's here. I'll have to share her with her's and hubby's friends and "Nana", but I can do that. Her hubby's grandma just turned 100!!! She is the sweetest lady in the world. She's not in good health and she's quite frail these days, weighs only about 70 lbs.... but she's such a great lady. My sweet little niece, A, will be here too! Sunshine loves to hang out w/ her so that will be fun. She's such a pretty girl....I'll take pics and have Sunshine load them onto my blog. I've gotta share some pics! I know,...... both tweb and etk have sent me directions but my grape just can't seem to squeeze it out. ha ha
My Sis is starting her Masters and has to do a blog and a Ning. It's really a new thing for her. Neither of us has heard of a Ning. She wasn't really wanting to appear 'nekkid' as she put it on the big Web but now she has to. It's for posting books she's had to read and such so it's not like she writes anything personal....weenie!!! Ha-ha......I'm awfully proud of her tho!
PLUS..................in a couple weeks my sweet granddaughter from N. Carolina will be here!!!!!She'll be 9 this month! Geesh they grow up sooooo fast. # 3 son and his girlfriend are driving out to pick her up. What a great month this will be! I'll HAVE to post pics of Miss V for sure!
She called me last night to get my cell # so she could put it in her phone. PHONE I said to her....you've got a cell phone??? Her Mom got her one especially for the trip so Miss V could call her anytine. It's a Trac phone that didn't cost much and has to be loaded w/ minutes. Hummm...I guess it's a good thing. I think we may have to go get some Bling to fancy it up with.
I will get to have her w/ me during the week while # 3 son is working! yay!! The parents are looking forward to it too.
This is good timing...coz I'll have a distraction while ETK andBaby are out of country. Whatever will we do while they're gone? Can she update her blog while she's in Italy I wonder? Hummm, I doubt if she'd have any time so I'll need the distraction from Miss V. I guess Tweb and Alli and Sunshine will have to entertain me.........no pressure. :)
Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a good day off yesterday. I did have to take the Dad to a Doctors appt. but that was it. Then I came home and Lovee and I did regular stuff. Went to the Wal~Mart for some groceries (He actually went with me which I love) and then he fixed us dinner. What a guy!! I absolutely hate to cook after I've been grocery shopping. Not sure why, maybe it's because I've got so many choices......naw.....I'm pooped afterwards I think. I've always hated putting groceries away too. I do it of course but I don't like it. Odd huh.
Then we sat outside and admired the lawn. Just sittin' in our glider, drinkin' tea and watching the grass grow. It's the little things.
Gotta go get ready for work now. Today is "wet" clean day. Bathrooms and floors. Probably a grocery store visit in there somewhere....maybe some ironing. And Tuesdays are the"pill counting" time. Gotta put all their pills in the weekly boxes. Geesh there are alot of them too!
Hope everyone has a groovy day!! ;)
Peace~~~~~~~

Monday, June 4, 2007

squishing the grape

I think I'm in a bit of a funk these days. Not really happy but not really sad either. Just a funk. There are several things that keep going through the ol' grape the past few days. Nothing major, just snippets of thoughts which are actually driving me nuts bucause some of them are things which I have no control over. I'm not a control freak by any means. But...i guess it's actually that there's not much I can do to change the course whatever the outcome will be. For instance :

  • My sweet Dad: he wears a hearing aid, sometimes, but it doesn't do much good actually. He's completely deaf in his left ear, but he struggles to hear even w/ the aid. I can immediately tell if he's heard whatever has been said by the look on his face. I can't describe it...it's just a look- like his mind is either trying to decifer what he thinks he's heard, or a look of..." guess I'm just not going to get the answer to that" or "I'll just smile and maybe that's enough to make ppl think I understand". It really makes me sad.
  • He's off all anti-inflamatories because of his stomach bleeding so his back really hurts him. That makes ME hurt to see him trying to get out of a chair or booth or just move around in general. He NEVER complains though. But I can see it all over him. That makes me sad.
  • He'll ask the same question several times throughout the day. I don't mind answering him but it's just the thought that his once, very sharp Engineering mind is failing. That makes me sad.
  • My hair. Yep, in the grand scheme of things this one is quite petty. However, you who know me also know how anal I am about my hair. I did get it trimmed and she did do a good job in that she didn't cut alot off, but it still looks like shit! So, it makes me wonder if I'm being stupid in wanting to grow it out...coz there's really not a good reason to do it, or if I just need to find a way to quit worring about it. I mean seriously... how anal can I get. The talk I have w/ myself goes....` get over it tt!! It's only hair...either grow it out and shut the F up or cut it...simple.....quitcherbitchin' ! But it's easy to ignore oneself isn't it?
  • My Lovee. He works so hard. I mean, his job at the DC is very physically demanding. And He love what he does...gets frustrated on a daily basis but we all do that...But, he keeps it going after he gets home at night....then all weekend. He's the "Lawn Ranger" as some ppl know...and we have the absolute best looking yard in our neighborhood, which I love BUT...so do my folks. He does theirs too!! Yesterday he spent 6 hours!!! on their yard! Granted, it's a fairly big yard...corner lot and all.....but, it wears him out and that worries me. I try to do stuff to help..to try and shorted the time he spends on stuff but again, there's not much I can do about it. He's a yard man pure and simple....he gets immediate gratification from doing the yard. I just worry.....he's so driven at times.
  • How long this "job" will last. I know, creepy to think about. I've only been doing it for a month now but the thought of ` I'll only be doing this untill they die' stays in the front of my mind. Morbid, i agree. I litterally take a deep breath before I walk into their house every morning. I breathe, put on my smile, walk in and say" it's booggers!" in my best sing-song voice. Because that old saying, which I agree with 1 million percent of `attitudes are contageous, is yours worth catching', is forever on my mind when I'm with them. I don't ever want them to see me in a less than cheery mood. Why? Because I'm afraid they may think that I don't like caring for them or that they're a burdon ( which they've express concern about) so I MUST put on my happy face and I MUST present a positive attitude ... EVERY ELFING DAY!! Period. No room for change there. I never want them to think ...not even for a nano second, that I don't want to be there. I DO want to be there! I love that I can be there. But, it's very hard at the same time becasue I know it's not just temporary. It's forever...in their time table. That makes me sad.

So there are a few things freshly squished for the grape. Probably redundant coz I think I've mentioned it before....but it gets heavy on the grape at times.

I'm actually off most of today. Dad has a Dr. appointment today at 11 but then I'll come home afterwards. Then Lovee and I can spend some time together. THAT, I LOVE!!!! No sadness there at all.

Anyway, I'll just keep plugging away...just doing the best I can .... and living my life the best I can.

Squishing the grape is a very good thing though. Maybe now these thoughts will fade into the background and won't bounce around so often.

That's a good thing!