Thursday, April 3, 2008

News flash...for me!

So yesterday, while Mom and I were having lunch she says" So tt, have you given any thought about what you'll do when one of us dies?" I told her I hadn't really..I just figured we go through an adjustment time and we'd probably get a little bit of a different routine...depending on which one was left etc. She told me I should think about it because if Daddy goes before her the she was going to move in with us. Holy shit!!! I almost spewed out my water! What?? So, in the time it takes to swallow, I composed myself so she wouldn't see the absolute terror that engulfed me and said " Oh, really..for some reason I thought you'd want to stay here, your own home. I mean, that's one of the reasone I'm here now, so you all won't have to be uprooted and get used to a new place and all". She informed me that she wouldn't want to be alone...I leave about 5:30 in the evenings.....and that she's familiar w/ my house so it wouldn't be too bad. She indicated that my Dad would want to do the same thing.
Well, ok. I'm not sure why I never thought that senario would come into play. I assumed they would just stay at their house.... silly me. That's what happens when you assume I guess.
i talked to ETK about it afterwards I felt better.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm totally fine with it and on some level I'm sure I knew it would change in time, but I just didn't think that far in advance.
Actually, it will probably make things easier on everyone's part. Save on gas for one thing. they live 20 miles from my house now. I'll be in MY environment. which will give me more control...which I'll like....I'll be able to swim during the week....Lovee will only have 1 yard to know, the important things. :)

Then, last night after Big Brother....there was a documentary on PBS about caring for elderly parents. I watched it, hoping for some helpful tips, and instead I got depressed. So many people out there have a much harder time than I do. My time will come I'm sure. But for now I'm in a good place and so are the parentals. In the film, one little lady lokeed up at her daughter, who is her caregiver and said in a voice barely above a whisper" Watch over me" the Dr.'s were trying to assess her torn skin....which happened because her skin is so thin and fragile. That moment brought tears to my eyes. The Mom was so vulnerable and completely relies on her daughter for all her help and comfort. That's us. So sad.
I love my folks..........I just, selfishly, wish this was easier....for them and me.


CheekyMonkey said...

Um yeah... news flash for sure! I would have thought they'd want to stay in their own home too. Guess that's cuz my mom IS all alone. Cept for her kitties. :)

You're a saint for taking care of them.. especially cuz you're so sensitive. I'd squeeze you, if I could reach that far.

tt said...

reach out Monkey.....I'd feel it I'm sure!