Wednesday, January 23, 2008


I've finally figured out how to describe my Mom. It's not eloquent or flowery. It's just real. She's a control freak who's lost her control. Very simple actually. Of course, she gets even more frustrated these days when that realization hits her. I don't think she would ever think that about herself though.
Sorry, there's nothing I can do about that. Really.

I'm also beginning to think it may not be so bad to be on the Dementia-wagon. I'm probably being too simplistic...or maybe it's a self preservation thing on my part, but...I'm....just thinking. It is terribly sad to watch but what is it really like to experience it? Frustrating I'm sure in the early stages. But in the end stages? Who really knows. My jury is still out.

I get tired these days. Not physically but mentally. I sometimes wonder how much my grape can hold on to.
My Sisterlittle may be here next month. Just for a weekend but, it'll be great to see her. I miss her. I need her. I don't think I would be very good at this without her being just a phone call away. Or w/o my Lovee. My sounding board. And all my kids....God how they all keep me together. If I could just shut the grape down for a while....during my awake hours....still being able to function but not have so much shit to go through it that I need a sifter to get to the daily stuff.
Usually it's Friday before I get mentally tired. Today's only Wednesday. Wonder what's up? Shit, more stuff for the grape. It's getting really juicy up there.

Lovee and I are talking about our vacation though. That's a mood pickerupper. Sisterlittle gave us dates to choose from. We've almost got it nailed down. I'm ready.


Tweb said...

Sitting at a beach bar, XYZ appetizer in one hand, delicious cocktail - most likely picked out by ETK, in the other hand, sunshine on your shoulders, smiles all around the table as ETK, Baby, Tlee, Babe, tt and Lovee indulge in a day dream retreat on the sandy beaches of soandso resorts.... ahhh, yes, that would shut down the ole grape and you'd melt away in conversation about a whole lotta nothing.

That's what I use to clear the gray matter. :)

What? A girl can dream right?

tt said...

Gawwwwd.I so love that idea!