Friday, July 18, 2008

WTF?? huge grape squish...

I'm feeling like a wee bit of a whiner at the moment. Actually, that should say I have, in the past, felt like a whiner. It's counter productive but it is what it is.
I've found so many blogs that give me a wake up call. So many people have had lives waayyyyy harder than i ever thought lives could be; some people are dealing with life changing and altering disease's that I can't even imagine dealing with; some have so much self loathing from some trauma that happened in their life long ago,that i wonder how they get up in the morning but they do ;..........
So why have I felt like a whiner? Because I bitch about stupid shit mostly. I guess you could say that bitching is often about the stupid stuff and that's ok. I bitch about my Mom saying stuff that pisses me off....so what! That's what Mom's do. I bitch about being so tired of listening to my Dad 'loop' his conversations over and over....so what! I bitch about having to go to their house 6 sometimes 7 days a week...even though it was my idea to do this....to HELP them and make their lives better and easier. What the fuck is wrong with my grape housing group?
There are so many people who are overcoming some really horrible things in their lives or have already pulled themselves out of a heap of shit and i have the nerve to whine about how mommy talks to me.
Geesh, tt..........get grip.
I had a good childhood. No one beat me or mistreated me. My brother was killed in 1967 in Vietnam . March 11 to be exact, and my Mother was never the same. Sisterlittle and I say she 'shutdown' about then. Shut us out for a long time. Ok......so what? I may have done the same thing who knows. She had a lot of guilt issues concerning him...long story that I'll go into at another time...maybe. Guilt...that I understand. I had/have that from Babyboy. Life goes on tt. don't do what you've seen...do what you know is right.

I'm an optimist. I'm patient. I'm compassionate and loving. I would do anything in my power to help someone.

So why do I whine about what I've chosen to do.

Feedback. Simple actually.
I can actually feel myself mentally growing from the blogs I read. Seriously. I get my life put into perspective at the oddest times. Always when I need it too.
I know, this may look like a post I did just a while back...and maybe it is. but I'm fucking old today and it's my blog so I'll say it a thousand times if I need to. Takes a while before things make their way into the old grape ya know. Some of the rooms up there need cleaning out. Too much is stacked in the hallways...and i can't find anything out there. I've seriously gotta make room for the new and improved boxes full of shit. Fact...I think I'll add on a bit. I know there's room up there somewhere.

So...I guess I'm saying thanks. Ya'll keep putting all that good stuff out there for me to read and think about.
YOU rock!

14 comments:

Brad said...

Sweetcheeks, it's our blogs and our rules. I read you because your real in what you write. Write what your thinking and don't self edit. It's my own little mantra.

We seem to be on the same track today - my post was of the same ilk bloggy wise.

Jen said...

TT, the stuff you put here on this blog are a big deal to you. So, even though you may think them small beans to what the rest of the world is doing, they are not necessarily so. These are issues that you have to face every single day. Other people face other issues every single day. One is not necessarily more important than the other. It's what is important to you or them now.

Hope you have a good weekend!

Dianne said...

I've never once thought you whine, even in your most frustrated or tired moments of parental overload - not even then.

Give yourself a break.

Maybe that's what the whining (your word) is about? One of the grape rooms is trying to tell you to listen.

And ya know, everyday stuff is OK to whine about. Not everything has to be dramatic and there should never be a sliding scale for emotions.

You feel what you feel and then you share it.

Sounds good to me.

Squishy hugs sister.

CheekyMonkey said...

Are you bitching about bitching? LOL... You know I got nothing but love for ya honey and I love hearing your stories. So keep em comin or I'll have to get mad at you.

And don't be so damn hard on yourself.

Diane J Standiford said...

Isn't growth a wonderful thing? What a waste of life if we don't examine our bitching? I and people dying with ALS still bitch about silly stuff, just look at the stars and realize how insignificant are our bitchings...among the stars. You are great. The weak among us can make us stronger. It IS our choice.

ETK said...

WHAT? You are NOT ALLOWED to bitch about bitching. You can whine, complain, whatever YOU want to call it but just keep doing it. I have a friend in town this weekend and we've been talking all weekend long about how great our blogs are - I feel SO CONNECTED to you, even when we can't spend an hour on the phone every day. you know? I would miss you terribly if you only talked about happy stuff because then I'd be all like - WTF is that? Your "little stuff" is not little stuff. It's what you deal with day in and day out. Everyone's got a different story and they all handle it differently. Right?

I second what every single person here has said. We love you and you have a right to feel any damn way you want to. We love you because you do. :)

Besides, don't make me come kick your ass.

Farmer*swife said...

See? I so told you, I get you! ;-)

There are always people with lives better off and lives worse.

But, we can't just blow off the curbs, bumps, and sometimes mountains thrown in our way. Just because maybe, we don't have it quite as bad as someone else.

Although, it is nice to keep a perspective...I always find a good "count my blessings" session regroups me.

Yes, I am blessed. But, I still have problems and issues just like the rest of the world.

Hang in there. And, you're allowed to gripe!

Happy Sunday!

tt said...

everyone!!!:

Ok,, I get it. Thanks!
I think I'll just look at it as 'venting' from now on...lol...makes it seem less harsh. And we all know that venting is always allowed.
I'm such a mess....loveable but a mess. ha
x's and O's

Imez said...

No YOU Rock.

Charlene said...

we need to get together and send our boxes of shit to the moon or mars or out of the universe~~~aren't you glad we are old instead of in our 20;s or 30's~~i sure would hate to be young these days~~just think of all the fun we had getting to be this old~~LOL

tt said...

imez~ You're something else! ;)

charlene~ good idea...If i loaded up all the full-of-shit-boxes I'd have tons of room up there. Surely I wouldn't miss the bad shit...would I? Naahhhhhhhhh ;) we'll do that sometime. We'll help each other with them...k? cuz i know some of those boxes you've got have to be waayyyy too heavy and some of mine have been there so liog that they'll probably fall apart when we try to pick them up.

fairyflutters said...

I'd love to see some links featured to blogs that have made you think like this.

I see nothing wrong w/ venting about your parents. That is no easy task taking care of the elderly. My ILs have two old men they are caring for and it's very difficult!

Your blog is right! You say whatever you want to say and never, ever censor yourself. I honestly find myself doing that sometimes and I hate that I do. I'd like to blog more openly about all my thoughts and feelings but sometimes there are just limits, ya know?

Talisman said...

Just because other people have overcome some crazy stuff doesn't mean you don't have a right to vent your frustrations about your life in a safe environment. :)

Ginni Dee said...

Venting is a good thing! I love reading your blog because I know you are real and you have problems like everyone else. But just because others have problems, doesn't mean yours aren't real and that you aren't allowed to vent about them...You go girl!!! Get it all out and you'll feel so much better.

I have a habit of volunteering to do something, then pissin' and moanin' about it the entire time. LOL It's just me! I always over-extend myself and run out of time. It's not so much that I'm upset with the person I'm helping, but it's more at myself for not planning ahead and being better at time management.

Hang in there kiddo...this too shall pass!

Got those tipsy pots up yet?? :-)