Sunday, August 10, 2008

If you can't say anything nice....

don't say anything at all.

That's what I was always told. It's really hard to live by though. Take for example, Church. There are so many things I 'think' about in church that I shouldn't and I'm wondering the whole time..." hummm, I'm in a church, thinking fucked up things about people, knowing that God is omnipresent...but I'm only thinking them...does it count?"
I dunno.
Here's the deal. There is a gal, who's a wee bit on the fluffy side, in her...ohhh I'd say late 30's and she's wearing a MINI denim skirt. With 2 pleats in the front and 2 in the back. The pleats are flared out because the material is stiff and she's been sitting. (I'm being kind when I said a wee bit on the fluffy side)
But I'm sitting there, with the Mom on one side of me and the Dad on the other and I'm thinking" holy shit!! did she look in the mirror before she left home?? No one with that much hail damage on their thighs should wear a mini!"

I didn't say it out loud but I'm sure I thought it loudly. I couldn't stop myself from thinking it.
I'm bad.

Fortunately I kept my thoughts to myself.
I'm learning how to NOT channel the Mom.
I'm gonna need a new room in the grape if this shit keeps going through my mind in church.
I better pray about it. ;)


Dianne said...

When I was in Catholic School (Lord save me!) one of the meanest nuns (and that's sayin a lot) told me that if you think bad things God will make them happen to punish you.

And so I know that's BS. God is not petty and small minded, just some of his f'd up messengers.

Would you be unkind to the fluffy woman if you knew her? if you spoke to her? I doubt it!

I do have to say - I'm starting to have a real appreciation for women who wear what they want - regardless of their body - most of us torture ourselves. How nice to be that free.

Jen said...

I did that once with my parents. We were out to dinner and a lady who was wearing a thong, who had no business wearing a thong that was above her jeans waistline. Well, I should say, anyone who wants to wear a thong - go ahead, I don't care, but just don't show us/the rest of the world. I care for not seeing all ya'lls underdrawers. Anyway, it came out of me before I thought about it, "oh. my eyes! make it stop!"

My parents were confused as to what I was talking about.

The sad part is, the fluffy girl's friend heard me. I felt awful. I am hoping she didn't know what I was referring to.

I still feel bad to this day. . . . I learnt my lesson. I wasn't trying to be mean, 'cos I'm not. It was just a pop in my good common sense.

gary rith said...

kids these days...

meno said...

Well hell, i would have taken a picture. But that's just me. :)

Hail damage made me smile.

Anonymous said...

LMAO at "hail damage" - I think I've got some of that myself. ;)

That said, I always find a good "bless her heart" cancels it all out and you can think as you like.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but, I'm sorry, there's sure a whole lot of ugly in my eye when I behold things such as you so eloquently described. *giggle*

Oh, and I frequently pray for forgiveness. :)

tt said...

I wouldn't even think of saying anything unkind to someone..let alone diss them on their clothes. We all do what we can with what we have right? right!
And I do love it when I see someone with lots of confidence, wear something that I wouldn't be caught dead in. For example, I won't wear anything sleeveless in public b/c i think my arms are too fat and jigglie...even though I see many women do just that with arms much bigger than mine and they could care less. I see Big-ol-gals at the beaches with their bikini's on....Bravo to them I say! Bravo! I just wouldn't have the nerve to do that.
However, even though I realize there should be no dress code when someone attends church...God doesn't have fashion police in his Angel Army :)..I do think that a thirtyish woman who teaches Sunday School to grade school kids shouldn't dress like a 'hoochie mama'. Call me old fashioned...or square....but, seriously...a micro mini with a hem flared much that when she stooped over to pick up the microphone at the alter...I saw her butt cheeks!!..nope...she shoulda given it a wee bit more thought.

I wish I could still wear my mini's...but the hail damage on MY thunder thighs....not to mention the other bumps and just ain't gonna happen...especially in church.

Of course I have thought of taking a flask filled with 7&7.....roflmao!!!.........
That's different right??? ;)

Farmer*swife said...

flask, church, LOL! Hey, we Catholics have "wine" before breakfast [early mass]!

Hail damage! HA HA HA HA!! [snort!] oops ;-D

I just read something similar about the casual of church attire at I think, Newt's place (on my blog roll). She's the "cute shoe" Gal.

You look pretty good from the picture I see of you and "Lovie" on your blog...I think you are doing pretty swell for 50-something!

Wear the tanks and spaghetti straps!

Happy Monday!

Jay said...

While I'm totally in favor of women of all ages wearing mini-skirts and whathaveyou, I do have this rather traditional view of going to church and more "formal" places. Mini skirts and flip-flops and shorts or whatever bug me in those situations.

Alli said...

I agree, I think some people have lost all respect with themselves and others when it comes to dressing appropriately in certain places. When you are at church or work, dress conservatively/proffesionally! Sheesh.

TT...we all have those thoughts...we're human... but keeping it to one's self is the hard part...sounds like you have mastered that art! :)

Betty said...

Once, when my son and I were in Las Vegas, we were sitting in the Mirage, having a drink and watching the people. Finally, my son blurted out, as you only thought, "Don't these people have mirrors?"

Diane J Standiford said...

Bless her heart. tt--LOL