Wednesday, September 5, 2007

On being older......

Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I usually frown over my body ; the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, the sagging butt and the protruding belly. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for too long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,my kids, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I age, I've tried to become more kind to and less critical of myself....sometimes. I'm becoming my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra brownie or cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly flamingo that I didn't need, but looks so great in my yard. I am entitled to a treat; to be messy; to be extravagant at times. I have seen too many people leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it, if I choose to read or watch T.V. or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? ( one day I will! ) I will dance with myself to those wonderful songs of the 60&70's, and if I want to cry over a stupid movie or T.V. show ... I will. I will walk the beaches in short-shorts that are stretched over a bulging body, and I'll dive into the waves without a second thought if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the younger set. They, too, will get old. I know I am forgetful at times. But , some of life is just as well forgotten ! .... and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet dies ? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many people have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself as much anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste my time wondering what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I will eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

I took this from something I read. I've changed it to fit me but it says what I feel....most of the time anyway...............

Enjoy your day!

2 comments:

Alli said...

That was lovely, TT! Thanks for the smiles. :)

Tweb said...

Couldn't have said it better myself! Thank you for this..