Tuesday, May 8, 2007

I'm 12 yrs old, but I can drive...sorta

It finally happened. It's just the beginning of my 2nd week and I guess Mom is 'comfortable' enough with our arrangement that she can tell me what I'm doing wrong. :( Actually I'm not doing stuff wrong, I'm just doing it a different way but getting the same end result. Of course in 'Mom's world" it's still being done wrong.
Take driving for example. With out Mom's instruction, I don't think I could find my way around T-town, even though I grew up here. I must take the route she goes or I'm going the wrong way. She's been like that for years but it's worse now. Dad's actually the same way but he usually adds," of course you can go which ever way you want, but we go this way." Her vision is bad to start with, which is why I'm doing this whole thing for them...Dad's is too..but when she says in one sentence that it's a really bad vision day ( her words) and then proceeds to tell me where to turn and park in a dark parking garage...I gotta scratch me head! WTF? The obvious answer is that she's driven herself there so many times that she remembers...but...HELLO...I can see too. She is constantly asking me if I can "see that?" Yes, i tell her. " My vision is the same as yours was at my age..remember how well you could see when you were my age?"
Yes she replies.
"you better get over in that other lane or we won't be able to turn'
" I'm waiting on the cars to pass before I do that Mom."
"ok, well we're almost to the corner."
" I see that Mom..I've got my blinker on but there are too many cars passing us right now so I'll have to wait untill there's an opening or we'll get squished."
" well, I can't see very well."
" I know Mom, that's why I'm driving."
My Mom has always been a control freak. But I think it's gotten worse since her vision has worsened. It's like "speech" is her only avenue of control. And beleave me she uses it biggly!!!!!!!!!!
So, I just say " ok,Mom" and go about my business. It's easier than argueing with her. She needs to be right so I let her.
But I gotta tell ya, it frustrates the HELL outta me!
I like to use goofy phrases to describe things at times. It's silly but I'm quirky about stuff like that. I like to play with words. Like when ever I start to back ut of the garage i say" contact".
That's just my way of telling them, the car is going to start moving...she says " why do you say 'contact'...."cuz I'm letting you know we're backing out" ..."why not say 'we're back out'...." cuz this is more fun"......so now whe repeats it after I say it. hummmmmmmm.
Whenever we pass by my car I'll say " there's Suzi-Su-V, isn't she pretty!" She'll say..." I've never known someone who talks to their car"....."I'm just being silly Mom."..."oh"

Whenever I go out for a smoke, which is maybe 2x a day, I'll say " I'm going to have tea with the queen"...she'll reply" no, you're going out for a smoke"..." yea, but it's more funner to say having tea w/ the queen coz you know I'm not but you know what I'm really doing"" she'll say that's silly.......I know, just trying to make you smile. " it doesn't work. :( But I do it anyway.
Oh well, it is what it is, right?

Mom- did you see that I buy Cold water Tide?
me - yes
Mom- well you have the washer on warm
me - Sorry, I always wash towels in warm water
Mom- well it's on the wrong setting too
me - Oh, well, that's the setting I use at home
Mom- it doesn't rinse as well on this setting and I use cold water for everything. That's why I buy cold water Tide.
Me - ok, lesson learned,,cold water only.
Mom- that's a good girl.

So now, I'm 12 being taught how to keep house ( which , did you know you can't keep house w/o a hand mixer?!) but i can drive.

We've had way too much rain for the last couple weeks. I think we all need some Sun!!


Tweb said...

Contact... I love that she repeats it now.. that cracks me up!

You have such great patience. I envy you for that. Patience... it comes in waves for me. And usually, when it knocks at my door, it's at the wrong time, when I don't need it.

Sunshine said...

OMG! I knew it would start. You're pretty patient - only going out with the queen twice a day. I'd be out there every hour. But then again - you're the better person :) Just breathe Mom - tomorrow's another day.

tt said...

Not the better person! Determined maybe..that she not get the better of me.

ETK said...

Awww!!! You are so cute! I love that you say you are going to have tea with the queen. You are in such a tough but lucky situation.

OMG. I was just thinking about how annoyed I was a few weekends ago and realized it's EXACTLY the same reason you are annoyed with your mom - she's telling you how/what to do things you already know. So, you can totally ignore all the advice I've given to date, because that is confirmation alone that I can't "do as I say". :) (considering I just got really annoyed and bitchy).

You are a truly patient and wonderful woman. Just have an extra glass of wine when you get home.

Should I go ahead and subscribe you to a wine of the month (or week or day????) club?


tt said...

ETK...you so funny.