Sunday, May 6, 2007

Thoughts

As I was driving home today from taking the parents to Sunday school and Church my mind was realing. Too bad I didn't have some sort of voice recorder that would instantly scribe to this blog! I can't even remember all the stuff that got squished out of my grape it was so ..jumbled. But, here are some of them.......................
I actually enjoyed the Sermon. A "certified Lay Speaker" gave it today coz "pastor Sharon" was on vacation. Anyway, as I said I did enjoy it; mainly because I could feel her passion for what she was speaking on. Which got me to thinking about other peoples passions. Actually my own passions or rather, seemingly lack there of! What goes on to make someone really passionate about something? Is it learned or taught or something like genetics...being born w/ it? Does it come from some "close encounter", or tragic occurance in your life...
I"ve always admired ppl who can do something I can't. Like singers; I can sing but not very well( my dogs howl) ; Dancers; I can dance.. I danced for years when I was young; into my mid teens- still love it but I can't really do it. Like.. muscians; I can't play any instruments. I could never get the concept of those little notes meaning something. Like...writers--I really admire them for their use of words and being able to describe in words something that I couldn't, in my wildest dreams begin to convey. Umm, artists....I can draw a little..but I can't actually do something that would inspire the masses..their use of forms and shapes and colors to be able tocreate something out of nothing. Designers, Doctors, Nurses, Pilots, Scientist, Florists,Lawyers, Police and Firemen for cripes sake.....there is a passion that those ppl have that makes them do what they do. Where does that come from and why doesn't everyone have it?
I know ppl who have a passion for something....or are passionate about something. They appear "normal" on the outside just like eveeyone else, but their insides are evidently different than mine. Why is that? It's a retorical question but a question none the less.
So, all this made me wonder what my passion is or was. I don't think I have one. That makes me sort of sad. I love some music but it's not my passion. I love dance but it's not my passion.
I can appreciate art but it's not my passion. I love to read but it's not my passion. You get my drift here I'm sure. :)

At one time in my life I was depressed actually that I only saw myself ans a wife and mother. It seemed to me that I should have aspired to do more. I always wanted to be a Nurse for example but the sciences and math it took to persue that were not in the cards for me. At some point not too long after having that thought, someone, I'm not sure who, asked me what was wrong w/ being a wife and mother.? The more I thought about it I decided.....nothing! So I decided to be a better wife and a better mother. I decided that maybe that would be my "calling" so to speak. Not terribly exciting, but very worthwhile!! After all, I had the most wonderful husband in the world ( still not sure what I did to deserve him!!!) and 2+2+1 kids that I loved more than anything in the world too.
But here's where I'm stuck. With all that being said, what am I passionate about? I, for some reason, need to figure it out.

Or............will some of us simply go through life w/o a passion? Just doing whatever we can to be useful or helpful or whatever.......just loving and doing the best we can in various endeavors without one particular level of expertise?

Geesh...... tell the voices to be quiet !

Gotta go have tea with the Queen now......gotta get out my sifter too........

6 comments:

Alli said...

Never too late for nursing, if you are still considering it. :)

Too me it seems that your passion is caring for others. That's one of the best passions to have! You care for your family, including now caring for your parents. If you still crave more, you could try volunteering somewhere if you have free time. :) Volunteer work can bring great satisfaction, especially if it involves caring for others.

Sunshine said...

I agree with Alli. You are the most caring person I know and that is a WONDERFUL passion. Everything you do is for other people - to your detriment sometimes (I'm like you in that way). If you were not the caring mother that you have always been, I don't know how I would have turned out. Much different I'm sure. I am the way I am today because of you ma - and I thank you for it :) You couldn't have done better by me. xoxo

tt said...

Funny about the volunteering thing.I've actually wanted, for years, to volunteer for Meals on Wheels. I hate the thought of ppl not being able to get food and going hungry. Especially old ppl who have no one to count on.
Thank you for the very kind thoughts tho Alli and Sis.
big puffy heart to you 2
xo
But is caring for others a passion?
I'm not sure.

Tweb said...

(shaking head sideways, banging on brain}

GET.OUTTA.MY.HEAD.TT!!!

Tweb said...

Pfft, next thing I know, you'll start saying things like:

"I try to articulate what I'm saying, describing it in such a fashion that sucks readers in, making me sound as though I've paid attention to ever dot, every line, every speckle of what's going on...but then I get to a word.. and I"m not quite sure I'm using it in the proper context or perhaps I misspelled it and have no dictionary at arms reach... so I change the word to a simpler version, something I know I can't screw up."

Pffft, say that and I say, get outta my head again.

tt said...

tweb---how'd you know?!! :)
I've gotta ask..is it scarey when you wander through my head?
It's scarey that someone else might have the same thoughts as I do that's for sure!