Update.....or rambles.. :) .....

Good grief!! It's been almost a month since I posted anything. So much has gone on I don't know where to start......actually, it's a lot of nothing that's gone on. Does that make since?

First an update on my new 'miracle' meds. I really don't have the words to describe how I feel. It's different. In a good way. I haven't cried in 5 weeks. That's huge for me...HUGE!!! The simplest things would set me off. Well, what I called simple anyway. Mountains of squishie grape juice would just pour out of me and half the time I didn't know where it came from. Seriously. I mean, I knew it was because of taking care of the parentals and watching their slow decline and their daily struggles and all of the shit that goes with it, but I guess it just built so slowly that I didn't realize the toll it was taking. Add to it my insane desire to be a 'pleaser' to everyone....especially my folks...............well, I set myself up for failure. Not intentionally mind you, but none the less.........that's the out come. Why would I expect so much from myself that I wouldn't expect someone else? I have no answer for that. Not going to examine that anymore either.
Am I rambling? Probably. Here's some more....lol

When I started this blog.......I did it as a way to get things off my chest so to speak. Once I say something out loud or put it into writing....it's usually gone. Done. Off my mind. Usually forever actually..,....
Now that I'm on the miracle 'happy pills'...I no longer feel the need to express myself. That's curious to me. Very curious. I no longer obcess on things....I don't over analyze things to death...
All good things. I see sunshine everyday....I feel joy....but can recognize sorrow and acknowledge it without a melt down. Curious.

I saw my Dr. yesterday for a review of what's been going on since I started the meds. He said he was very, very worried about me and that "I made his day" by seeing that the meds were working and he didn't have to try something else. Me too. :)

Another thought that does go through my squishie grape is this blog. I'm sure it's the meds, but I actually have no desire to post anything. I do find that curious....a wee bit anyway.
My extreme emotions are repressed....or perhaps compressed.....and I like it that way.
So, frequent posting from me will probably go by the wayside.......
I may write from time to time....about Dad's new looping on coins.....he can't remember what they are or what they're for....or Mom' new forgetfullness....or that all of their friends are dropping like flys and we attend way too many funerals.......or that how I have to tell Mom how to start the dishwasher every week.....how Dad's becoming obcessive about his failing health...
little things like that. :) did I just say 'little'? lol

I'm in a contented place right now. I'm just going to go with that and enjoy what life brings me.