Sunday, September 30, 2007

I did it!

Baby girl and I went to Ihloff to use the gift cards we got for our birthdays. it was sooooo fabulous! Sis got a cut and foil and I had a mani. Such pampering they do!
I got so excited that I booked a haircut w/ the gal who did Sis. I was on a 'pampered high' and would have done almost anything they suggested...but thankfully...I didn't have to really test myself. I am looking forward to a new stylist. I can't believe I finally did it. I've been threatening to change but....never got around to actually doing it. I soooo glad the kids gave us those cards!!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!!!!!! Now I've got to schedule my massage! I think that'll be in about 2 weeks. My wonderfully, fabulous 'long distance' kids gave me a GC at Christmas for that. Love my LD kids!!! ha ha ha ha ........that looks like I'm talking about learning disabled..... but obviously I'm not. I think I'll keep that moniker for them's making the corners of my mouth turn up a lot! :)

I got to leave the folks about 10:30 yesterday! Woo-hoo! I'm beginning to feel human again. ETK was right..I just needed some time off. My Mom is not-so-subtly trying to tell me that I spoiled them by being there so much last month because of her broken foot and that they sure miss that. I'm not gonna fall for it. She is getting around very well. I didn't even have to go down and fix breakfast this morning. That was nice, and she managed very well. Sisterlittle says she thinks Mom can do a lot more than she lets on. That's probably true. I know she can't see very well but she can do things for herself when I'm not there. She's spoiled, that's for sure.

I've told all the kids that I absolutely DO NOT want them to do this for Lovee and I.!!!! Put us in a retirement center or Nursing home or whatever...........go live your life and have fun. When it comes to that, hopefully I will have the gonads to admit that our life was fun and adventure filled and that we want them to have the same.
Now, that's not to say that I'm sorry I'm doing this for my parents. I just don't want that for myself. My mother and I are completely different. She is anti social most of the time and admits to wanting as much attention as she can get. I'm very social and can carry on a conversation with a tree stump... and I actually LIKE to be alone at times whereas she doesn't.
So.......there. It's in print.
Today is her birthday. She's 83 years old. I made her a German Chocolate cake.
If I'm lucky enough to reach 83, I hope I'll be 83 years 'young' and have a strawberry margarita!!

Have a great week

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Probably TMI....but here it is anyway

When I first told ETK about this, she said I should use a different word...this one ........'suffered'.! I had used the phrase 'you're life is not complete until....' But she is completely right. What you ask am I talking about? Here goes........
You have not suffered until you've gone with your Mom to her Doctor, for her annual physical which includes a gynecological exam!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! You have not suffered until you see her on that table in the stupid gown with that horrid white paper sheet draped across her legs while the Dr. does a digital exam and she makes the ugly face and hollers " JESUS "!!!! You just haven't suffered!!!! You haven't suffered unless you've heard the Dr. say..." no sturipps today, just put your heels together and let your knees fall know, what your mama told you not to do". You just haven't suffered!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm scarred for life now. I just can't get the whole thing out of my mind. It was just wrong. I was there because she wanted me with her. She feels more secure with me around. Ok, I totally get that. But why I had to be there for that is beyond my comprehension. There was a nurse present...she's had this Doctor for 20 years or more. Ugh!!!!!!! Being in the Urologist office during THAT exam was bad enough....I got to see the ugly face then too..which is something sisterlittle and I really dislike.
I don't's just not right.... period.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Autumn is here..and that means....

I can cover up my upper-arm fat that falls over the back-fat, that almost reaches the muffin top above my capri's. I can layer on the clothes to cover up the bulging belly fat left over from my pregnancies 30 years ago. I tried all summer long to reshape my body. Well, I tried some days during the summer... it was hot a lot of the time so those days don't count. I was never able to totally detoxify my innards. If I had been able to only eat 'sunlight' and drink 'air' then I would have reached my goal. Alas that didn't happen. (My inner voice had laryngitis most of the summer)
I keep hearing that stress causes belly fat. The odd thing is I never hear what to do about it. Well, there's never an easy solution anyway. :) Hummm, conspiracy perhaps? The bigger my body gets, the more I have to shop. I scour the stores for those wonderfully comfortable 'soft' and elastic clothes. No zippers or buttons please. So I will now put the blame where it obviously should be. Where everything else that's wrong in the world falls. The Government!
Yep.......actually I think it's a global conspiracy I'm not alone in my plight. There are millions of people like me out there. Clothing manufactures keep changing the tags in the clothes so we won't feel so bad about ourselves. Remember all those stories years ago about Marilyn Monroe? Supposedly she wore a size 12 when she died. Uh-huh...rriiiiight! Her size 12 back then is now about a size 6 or 8. yep....
The government is in bed with all the clothing manufacturers...and possibly the Diet mongers. Those people who have no problems with their weight or bodies but can write a 'how to' book that keeps us hooked on an ever elusive goal. Keep changing those tags.....keep writing those books. I'll fall for it every summer.

Very soon ( although I'm not sure what year that will be yet) I will accept my ever changing body for what it is. Functional. It gets me from point A to point B without a lot of trouble. I still have my arms to wrap around those I love and give them squeezers. I still have my eyes to see everything I want to see...rainbows, birds, smiles on warm friendly faces, my grandyounguns,my beloved swimming pool :), my husbands loving face. I can still hear my friends and family whisper they love me. I can still smell the rain whenever a storm is getting close and smell the pie I just took out of the oven.
So,..........I'm on my way to being a wee bit happier and more gentle to myself.

But for now....bring on the sweats and jogging suits! Put Santa Claus back in the stores. I'm always smaller than him.....for now anyway..........;)
Woo-hoo! I'm feeling skinnier buy the day!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


I don't think I've ever experienced that before so ..................ETK is the one who pointed this out to me on why I was so elfing tired. Hummmmm...makes perfect sence now that I think about it. ha

Anywho..........the other news I had is this.
Mom went to the Ortho place yesterday and got fitted for a lower profile boot for her broken foot. Well, it seems that since this one actually has 3 colors on it, not just solid black like the other one, she can see it enough to put it on by herself and take it off by herself!!!!!! THAT, ladies is the biggest and best news !! Why? Cuz now I can go back to my regular hours and actually have my Monday's off!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for me!!!!!!!!!! Yay for Mom!!!!!!!
Of course tomorrow will be fun.The Mom has a Dr. appt. for a physical. A COMPLETE that includes sturipps...or however you spell it...! yuck!! She insists that I be in the exam room whenever she goes....the visit to the Urologist was fun.......this should be equally fun.

TMI ??? Welcome to my world. lol

Can I get a Hell-yeah!!!

I'm so giddy I don't know where to start! :-) AND.....i only have 10 minutes before I have to leave for work... what to do...what to do......
Ok....first off, on Friday, I casually asked the Mom if after breakfast on Saturday and after we go to the store if needed and got all our errands done if I could.....then I stumbled.....( uh-oh)...and Mom finished my sentence...." go home?" ........Yes I said. And then, wonder of wonders she said " well I guess so.".....!!
Well, back into the kitchen I went to finish up dinner and what did I do????? I 'high-fived' myself!!!! LOL ha ha ha haaaaaa. Yep, sure did. I'm sure I've been that happy or even happier in my life before but, at that point I couldn't remember...remarkable I tell ya!
So, about 10 a.m. Saturday I left and drove home with the cheesiest grin on my face. I didn't do a whole lot because I just couldn't focus. But Lovee and I did go for a drive down to the Riverwalk which I love to do. Then we went for another drive further out andhad dinner at my favorite "land-of-big-eaten" ( as my sisterlittle calls it) buffet place..I had a huge plate of veggies, which I love,love,love and a chicken wing, which I love,love,love and a small dish of my favorite dessert...banana pudding! Yum-o!!!!
Then we came home and watched a movie.
It was exactly what I needed.
My tireds left me and everything!
Who woulda thunk?
I just needed a day off! Go figure. ;)

Then yesterday afternoon I got some more fabulous news but, I've gotta get to work now so I'll post that later............

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I'm tired.
I'm only 53 years old and some days I feel as old as my Mom.
How is this possible?
When I get home at night it's all I can do to drag my sorry ass in the door. I'm too young to feel this way. Aren't I? I walk about 2 miles Idid 2.2 miles in 40 minutes while talking to ETK ( thank you very much!)....It's not helping me w/ my energy level at all.
I'm gonna take a tub and get some z's.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

I'm home.......YAY!!!!! Which means...randomness...

I got to come home today after church. Which means Lovee and I got to work on some stuff together for a change. That......makes me happy.
We completely shut down the pool. That's always sad to me but it was time cuz it's gotten so elfin cold at night and in the morning that the water never recovers. Actually the water feels like it did when we were in Santorini for ETK's Wedding. Brrrrrrrrrr! Freakin' cold water there! I didn't get alot of swim time in this summer anyway. Maybe next year. I hope!
Lovee and I got to spend some "Biz-ness ti-ime" together...........that's all I'm gonna say about that...(snicker-snicker)
I'm still trying to figure out what I could be passionate about. For some reason, I think I should have something I feel passionate enough about to go that extra mile. There are things I would like to do, if I had the time. Like, help with Meals on Wheels or the Angle Food Network or helping the homeless shelters or something that helps little kids....I dunno....Maybe when my current job comes to a close I will have it figured out.
I've almost got the Mom convinced that I could do my walking during the day around their neighborhood. She doesn't like it if I go upstairs to watch TV by myself so this is an accomplishment. She keeps saying she feels more sucure knowing she can see me. Ok, I understand that...sort of....but I need some break time. Fact, I think that may be how I put it to her. Not that I need a break but something like....uhh.....I need to get out for some fresh air to recharge. Of course my Dad has finally said I can go w/ him whenever he goes for his wee walks. He stumbles alot and the last time it scared him. He only walks about a quarter mile but that's great for him. That, however won't be long enough for me. Anyway, I think by walking in the afternoon, it will break up my day better and possibly improve my overall mood.
That's the plan anyway.
I sure miss my sisterlittle.......
She teaches 8th grade ( around Denver ) and is sooooo busy. Plus, she's working on getting her Masters........(I think I've said this before).....but....I still miss her.
The State Fair will be here in a couple weeks. My BFF and I always go for a day. We don't ride anything anymore but there are certian things we LOVE to eat. Corndogs....candy....icecream.... and we love looking at all the booths. Not to mention I have a thing for yard sticks...I can't explain it but I don't relax untill I've found one.,,,silly me. We won't be able to spend as much time there as we usually do but it will still be fun!
Gotta go get ready to go back to the folks. Sunday night we ALWAYS eat out. It would be more fun if we could get more variety in the places we go but that's not gonna happen. We only go where they can remember the menu. They get the exact same thing every single time too! We go to Steak-N-Ale....for steaks; Rib Crib....for BBQ,Picadilly....for a Cafeteria style meal...( they get the same thing every time) or Monterey..for Mexican. That's it. OH, I forgot. We go to The Outback on special occasions. That will be the end of this month for Mom's birthday.
She's requested I make her a German Chocolate cake. Those are fun.

Have a good weekend Chica's!!
Hugs to all.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

She says.............

She's going to keep sleeping in the boot. It hurts w/o it. Plus, she's nervous when it's not on. .
She's got to have some laser surgery on her good eye. The lens inplant from her cataract surgery has gotten cloudy. This should fix it.
Ok...that's a good thing.
I take very good care of her and Dad.
In fact she said I've spoiled her. Uh-o.......when did that happen??????? Oh, I remember...when I never talked back to her...umhummmm.

It is what it is.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

random maddening stuff

So, I'm cooking a pot of soup for the parental units and mom asks if I have the recipe. Yes, I say and show it to her. She snips, 'you don't have to show me I believe you.'
I'm chopping veggies and she says,' I thought you liked that other knife' I say I like this one too. "Well, why aren't you using the other one?' 'I don't know, I just grabbed this one.' She says,' the other one cuts better'...I tell her this one is working ok.
I wash up the frying pan I used to brown the meat and as I'm putting it away I think...I use this almost every day and she keeps it at the back of the cupboard...I think I'll put it up front ( where the soup pot that's used once a month is) so It'll be easier to get to. She see's me putting it in front and says,'That's not where that belongs'...." I know, but I use it almost everyday and I thought it'd be easier to get to'.... But that's not where it belongs she says......Ok, I'll put it in the back..............Well, that's where it belongs she says.**************sigh*********
I ask her if she's worried about the Dr. appt today and she says no. I ask if she's anxious or nervous......"No,"......Hummmm I say........She says,' I'm just curious about what he's going to tell me......... I just feel a bit 'unsettled." Ohhhhhhhh, I see. (I new I'd never find the right word.....that would mean I was telling her how to feel!)
We're leaving for her Dr. appt. and she says,'Are you leaving the stove on?' 'yes, but it's on low.'
When we get back she goes directly to the stove, takes off the lid and says,'If you don't turn this up the vegetables won't get cooked in time for dinner.'..." That's my plan Mom.' 'Well, I can't see to do it.'..'I 'll do it as soon as I put my purse down.''***** heavy sigh******
later........'Want me to tell you how I fix the bread?'...'yes, please' ( because we all know I've never sliced bread before***errrrr*****.... never mind the fact that I've done this a dozen times for her already)" I slice it down the middle, then across and then put butter on it and then put it under the broiler" 'Yep, that's the way I do it too' I say with a smile.

The Dr. told her she could sleep w/o the boot if she wants. But I have to get up in the night she says.......That's ok says the Dr., just use your walker to get around. I already do, she says. He tells her a week from Monday she can get a lower profile boot; one that only goes up to her ankle. She'll need to wear that for another 4 weeks or so. Her shoulders slump and she says she was hoping to get it off sooner. After that, he says, she'll need to get some hard soled shoes. She perks up and says," it's hard to find shoes to fit my feet, they're very narrow so I only wear these( as she lifts up her good foot ). He says they don't have a hard sole so she'll need to get another kind to wear for a while. Her shoulders slump again. I tell her we'll shop and try to find her some 'saddle oxfords' response on that.

'We' spent the next 3 hours trying to decide if she will sleep with it off or on. Because she can't see well you know.( duh !! ) If she wants it on after I leave she can't do it....worra,worra,worra....

She finds out that the guy who teaches Sunday school will be doing it every Sunday since the woman who helps him is leaving the church. Well, she doesn't like "Jim' very much so they won't be going very often anymore. Yay!!!! I'm thinking!
I read the Church bulletin to her cuz she 'needs' to know what's going on. She's not interested in doing any of the activities that are listed though she says......But, is her name listed on the prayer list? Yep.....Good she says.
I read the cards she's been getting from her church friends to her and prop them up on the top of the bookcase behind her 'love seat'. She told me not to do that. Why I ask, you've always displayed them before............I can't see them so just throw them away ( she said w/ a big frownie face) Ok........

So, today is her mani/pedi. How do you think that's going to go?
My fingers are crossed that her night was good.
Some days I wish I could just pull the covers over my head.

Enjoy your day my sweeties!!!!!!! ;-)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Tears.......coughing.......wild heartbeat........disbelief.....sadness....memories..................
the impossible was done.......
nuf' said.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Drivers and shoes.......:-)

Ya know, I drive over 20 miles to " work " way. That's over 40 miles to and from...duh!...and I've finally discovered something that happens every elfing day! Picture this: You're driving along, you're with the flow of traffic listening to some tunes, not thinking about anything inparticular, just looking at the surroundings and the other maniacs on the road and there it is....again!! You see someone ahead of you w/ their turn signal on, calmly merging into an open lane...and the person they are getting in front of does what? SPEEDS UP!!! WTF!
There is plenty of room for the 'in front' car to change lanes....but the 'behind' car sees this as intrusion on their space?....or is it a matter of ''oh no you don' one is getting in front of me!"
What is that? And then what does the 'behind' car do after that? They get on their ass and have to they 'cut' in line or something. I swear, I see this every swinging day. To and from! I will never understand it. It annoys the heck out of me.

Also, why do ppl stop 2 or 3 car lengths away from the car in front of them when they get to a stop light? Or, even better, why stop that far away from the crosswalk line when you're first in line at the light? My Dad sees this alot and asks me every time why the driver does that. I don't know I tell him...maybe in case someone slams into them from behind they won't hit anybody???? Or maybe their depth perception is a little skewed?? He doesn't understand it ....and frankly, neither do I. One of these days I'm gonna ask the driver....I know that's risky....but I'll do it just because I really want an answer.

Just in case ya'll have been wanting to get a really, really comfortable pair of sandals and just don't know what kind to get.....I have the answer for you! ECHO!!! OMG!!!!! i've never,ever had on a more comfortable pair of sandals!!! I've had them on for 15 hors now and my feet feel great...which is something for me. Their not a dressy shoe at all, but to wear w/ capri's or shorts their perfect!!!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I'm feeling better.....I think....

It's hard to tell at the parents house because it's so friggin' hot in there....but I think my new pills are working. YAY!!!! I am sleeping better. I'm not quite as emotional as I was. The night sweats are getting few and far between as are the hot flashes.....or as I like to call own private summers.....
I'm not filled with dread anymore ..................................'s all about me isn't it. Hummmmmm, that's unlike me.........
Oh well, evidently the stupid random thoughts are still hanging around.

I did score 2 new pair of sandals today!! Sweet!!!! One pair are Born's...75% off on those!! and one pair is Echo.....50% off on those!! Yay. Dad was w/ me. He just sat in a chair and said to come get him when I was finished. He looked so sweet sitting there in the women's shoe department at Dillards. :-)

I took him shoe shopping the other day. Since he can't see, I basically picked them out and he said yes or no. We bought a pair of athletic shoes but he still hasn't worn them. He said today he didn't want to get them messed up's your world.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

On being older......

Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I usually frown over my body ; the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, the sagging butt and the protruding belly. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for too long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,my kids, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I age, I've tried to become more kind to and less critical of myself....sometimes. I'm becoming my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra brownie or cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly flamingo that I didn't need, but looks so great in my yard. I am entitled to a treat; to be messy; to be extravagant at times. I have seen too many people leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it, if I choose to read or watch T.V. or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? ( one day I will! ) I will dance with myself to those wonderful songs of the 60&70's, and if I want to cry over a stupid movie or T.V. show ... I will. I will walk the beaches in short-shorts that are stretched over a bulging body, and I'll dive into the waves without a second thought if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the younger set. They, too, will get old. I know I am forgetful at times. But , some of life is just as well forgotten ! .... and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet dies ? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many people have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself as much anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste my time wondering what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I will eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

I took this from something I read. I've changed it to fit me but it says what I feel....most of the time anyway...............

Enjoy your day!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Good Weekend

I had a great weekend!! Why? Because of Lovee!! He absolutely saved me again. That's no surprise I'm sure but he just amazes me at times. On Saturday afternoon, he suddenly showed up at the parents to do their lawn. I was sitting on the bench in front having my daily tea w/ the queen and looked up and saw him plugging an extension cord into the yard lamp!! I squealed...alot..... and he smiled biggly...came over and smooched on me !! He hadn't said he was coming. My mood instantly lifted!! :)
I helped him some with the yard and we visited then he wnet home and I carried on w/ the folks. Then Sunday, after church, as the folks and I were driving towards the house I noticed Lovee's car and let out a squeal!!! It scared Mom and made Dad say" What'd you say?" :) Lovee was there again...working on trimming the hedge in front of the porch. I helped again for a while. I got
the folks settled and then Lovee and I left and went shopping! Penny's was having a great shoe sale and we ended up getting Lovee 5!!! pairs of athletic shoes.....Holy Cow!! Then we went home and got in the pool!!!!!!! Geesh, I Love LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!! the pool. We got to play for about 40 minutes and then had to get ready and go back to the parents and take them to dinner. Dinner was good and afterwards we all had a hot fudge sunday!! Love those too!!
And this afternoon, the doorbell rings at the parents house and guess who it was??? Yep, Lovee!! He brought us some chocolate. God love him!! He MUST love me fluffy!!
He had dinner ready for me when I got home. Afterwards we went for, possibly, our last swim as the weather is getting chilli in the mornings.( time to shut it down I'm afraid :( )

I have no words to describe how much that man means to much he's ALWAYS meant to me. I'm very blessed. I'm not sure what I did to deserve it but I'm glad I found him!
Good weekend for sure!


Saturday, September 1, 2007

I forgot one thing about Babygirl...

Actually it's an important thing when you put it with her PCOS. She also has Endometreosis.
Those two together make for a lot of painful times. Not to mention the possibility of conceiving will be doubly hard.
Life is weird sometimes. There are women out there killing their kids or neglecting them and then you get someone like Sis and you wonder.....WTF!!!

It's just wrong sometimes!