Wednesday, May 30, 2007

This and thats

Well, tomorrow my little Sunshine girl is having Oral Surgery. Yep, all 4 wisdom teeth are coming out. OUCHIE!!! Jeanne is going to be taking care of her tomorrow and then Lovee and I will check on her through out the day on Friday. It's gonna be a bummer for a few days...
I almost had an altercation( that's putting it mildly) with a Ho-bitch today! If my sweet Daddy hadn't been with me it may have gotten ugly. We were picking my Mom up from having her nails done...I saw someone pulling out of a parking space so I waited, with blinker on, for her to back out and drive off. Well, the stuuupid Ho backed out, looked at me and then just sat there! No shit! She started fooling around w/ something in her back seat..I see a couple kids pop up and reach for something in the front...she pushes them back.....then grabs some kind of pink lunchbox and starts rumageing through it...throwing stuff out the window. Still I sit there, trying to give her the benefit of a doubt( don't know why really..cept maybe the Dad..) waiting for her to literally put it in gear and drive on. My Dad asks me what she's waiting on and I say I don't know but she's about to get some horn! Mind you she's blocking the way for both directions of travel! So I give her some horn and.....nothing! No response..nothing!! I'm thinking to myself ( so I don't upset the Dad) WTF Bitch!!!! I think about moving on to another space but I can't cuz she's blocking the effing road both ways!!! so I honk again. She slowly and I mean exagerated slowness....turns her head and looks at me then turns back to the pink lunch pail and throws something out the window from it then looks at me again. I give her the "WTF is your problem look" while waving my hands in a not so kind gesture. Finally she turns the wheel and ever so slowly drives away while trying to stare me down!! Get real Ho!! Someone poop in your Cheerios this morning? Mad at the white bitch in the Lexus while you're in a piece of shit minivan?? She put some majorly bad Karma out there today and one day it's gonna wallop her in the keester real biggly!!!! Wish I could be there to see it.
Now the funny-stupid thing about this is....the space she was in was too small for me to pull into. For real....If I had gotten in there we wouldn't have been able to open the doors w/o dinging every car! Now I know why her piece-o-shit minivan was all banged up.
Geesh............what's the matter w/ ppl. How can acting like that possibly do any good. Ya think she felt better? Hussy-ho!! Gawd I hate stupid people!!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Indy 500

Dario won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was actually rooting for Danica, but Dario winning was fabulous!!! We didn't actually get to see the rest of the race after the track was dried out. We had to take the parental units to dinner. Dammit!!! But I was happy to see the outcome.
I usually do not let anything interfere w/ my Indy 500 race....not phone calls, nothing! But in my everchanging life I had to make an exception. It's ok. The universe didn't come to a screeching halt.......... yay for that.

I do get excited watching tho. Man, they were driving crazy from the beginning! Trying to beat the rain that was coming; trying to get into a good position for when the rain came in again. Usually, the drivers wait for at least 50 laps before they start REALLY driving and jockeying for a good position. Not yesterday! Wow!!
Felt bad for Tony though. If the race had been called he would have won. That's the breaks....ya never now what's gonna happen at Indy.
Love me some IRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emotional load limits

I'm beginning to understand a wee bit about what everybody was talking about when I first said I was going to care for my parents. I don't necessairly agree that is is hard, in fact it's less stress than I'm sued to. Of course their health isn't really bad right now so that's subject to change. Anyway, I have such an emotional attachment to them, dud!, that it's hard to turn it off when I leave for the day. I think we've almost switched roles. Not totally, but in the worry department we have. I sometimes find myself wondering if they're ok when I'm not there. Sort of like whenever parents go out for the evening and they ask each other if they should " call and check on the kids"....that sort of thing. I don't do it because the "real" me thinks that's silly and I know I have to let limits. Otherwise I'll get overloaded w/ exhaustion and fatigue and my personal happiness may suffer. Gotta watch that. Of course that also puts a strain on my on the grape....the constant influx of emotions...the constant reminding I do, to myself, to back off.
I've got to give myself a load limit. A limit of the # of things I can effectively worry about. Which are things I could actually DO something about verses things that are out of my control. I need to build space in my life for rest and peace.

That being said, I'm not sure exactly how to go about it. The time off that we've created will surely help. Today is my first whole day off. I actually slept untill 8:30!! That's completely out of my norm. Must have needed it tho. Woke up refreshed and rareing to go.

I wonder if ppl ever get to a state where everything around them is running like clockwork; where everything in their universe is right on course. Where there is a perpetual light at the end of the tunnel. I doubt it. It sounds nice in theory but in reality it would probably get boring.

Now that I've squished the grape.....I feel better. I think i'll go work in the yard w/ Lovee.
That's ALWAYS fun!

Friday, May 25, 2007

rain,rain go away

come again some other day!! I like rain. Really I do. But i'm in great need of some sunshine. We've had intirely too much of the wet stuff. It's starting to affect me and the parental units. Rainy weather makes the Mom hurt and the Dad justs sits around; consequently so do I. Fortunately this is one of my 'half' days. After the Credit Union stop for $$, the bread store for......bread, of all things and the Beauty Parlor, I get to go home. YEA!! This is Pot Pie night and after I set the oven Mom can handle the rest.
Sooo, with that in mind, I think I'll try to get my own hair shaped up. Not cut but shaped up a bit. It refuses to cooperate with me in the mornings. I end up putting at least half a can of spray 'glue' on it just to ........just to.........hummmmm, Not sure what I'm trying to say. Ahhhh, hold it in some semblance of a style........that's it!

Of course I'm going to go to the gal whom I said I wouldn't go back to. She chopped me so bad last time that I vowed never to grace her doorstep again. So much for vows! I just want a wee trim to help in the growing out phase I'm going through. Just a gentle shaping would be nice.
I'm really apprehensive about going to her why am I planning to do it? I don't know. Maybe someone at the Mom's shop will be available. That scares me too. I don't wanna come out with a blue rinse on my hair looking like a little old lady with a boufont hairdo! YIKES!

Lord have mercy...I'm so anal about my hair.

Tonight we've got my stepgranddaughters High School graduation to go to. Yay for E !!! She's one smart cookie! Got a scholarship to a big University here.
I never liked the word step when used to describe people. What's a step anyway? Big step, little step, step back, step forward, step off, step around..............ya know, the more you say that word the weirder it sounds! I'm a 'step' grandma, step sister-inlaw, step daughter in-law...........why step? Why the need to differentiate the two relationships. It makes it seem like one is more important than the others which is exactly why I don't like it.
Just some rambles of a caregiverperson who at this point of the day is putting off getting ready for 'work'. ha..........more procrastination........I love it.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

My 7 "bad" things....

  • I tend to ask too many questions. It's usually because I'm trying to understand something better, but ppl take my question asking thing as if I'm doubting their knowledge. Or I sometimes ask questions in the form of playing 'devils advocate'...trying to put a different slant on things.
  • I tend to procrastinate. Not as bad as I used to but if it's something I don't like to do...I'll find a reason to put it off.
  • I have very little self discipline. If I was better at that then I would get off my fat ass and exercise more and go on a real diet. Actually that goes for the # 2 spot also. hummm
  • I hate my feet! My toes are so ugly I've never had a pedi...ever!! Too much dancing on point.
  • I internalize things too much. Not as much as before I started this blog though.
  • everyting listed on tweb's blog
  • I hate confrontation. To the point that if I'm forced into that position I will get the shakes and my mouth will spit cotton and I will feel physically ill.

There, that about covers it. True, this will not come as a surprise to those who know me...I don't think...but then this comes to mind; if my friends knew me the way I know me, would they still be my friends?

Hummmm, ponder that a while........

Random thoughts and casual observations

There isn't alot going on in the grape lately. That's evident cuz I haven't had much to say. However I get what I call 'snipets' that whiz through every now and then.

  • My fingernails have never been so long! Was working in a bank that hard on them? All the gardening I've done should have wrecked havoc on them, especially since I don't like to wear gloves, but they're rediculously long. In fact, typing even harder now. But do I cut them? Naw....
  • Instead of dealing with 100 different ppl a day and their analicities, I only have to deal w/ 2. That's a good thing. However there is an emotional attatchment w/ these ppl that I didn't have before. My BFF pointed that out to me this morning. How true.
  • What's with the hair tt? I don't know why I do this every year. Smae thing year after year...grow,cut,grow,cut........can I please just figure it out and be happy? Naw, too easy. :)
  • The steroids are gone now. Thank gawd! Those are good drugs but gooz-o-pete I eat like a horse when I'm on them! If I deny that I'm hungry, try to fool the ol' grape, then I get a terrible headache....can't win with that one.
  • 1964 is coming to town in July!! LOVE them. It's a Beatles tribute that my BFF and I and her daughter go to almost every year. So much fun. makes us feel transported back to that time. Very cool.
  • Time is relative. Plain and simple.
  • Is it possible to get any fatter? Simple truth is a deffinite yes. But I'm trying not to.
  • The IRS sucks donkey d***s!
  • I miss my Lovee....I have alot of time to think about him during the day.
  • I wonder how tweb is doing......her being all knocked up and all! ;)
  • Is ETK real?


I've discovered that there are comforts in having a routine. My parents have an elaborate routine starting in the morning and ending at bedtime, each day of the week. There are certian things to eat for breakfast each day of the week. Like Thursday is French Toast day....only...that's not deviated from at all. Fridays are cereal. Sounds boring but it actually is starting to make sense to me.( that's scarey) Sort of like what everybody else does that has a job to go to. The morning rituals keep you on time and there's a comfort to it. Well, it keeps most ppl on time anyway. :)
I decided to do my own house chores according to my mom's schedule at home. Well, sorta.
Tuesdays are 'wet' cleaning, ie" bathrooms, floors etc.. Wednesdays are 'dry' cleaning, ie: dusting vacuuming etc. Laundry is whenever there is enough for a load. So, before I get to their house I've already done mine.
I hope it doesn't put me into a rut. I hate ruts. But if it's a routine that keeps everything flowing in the right direction then that's ok. Is there really a difference in a 'rut' and 'routine'?

I talked w/ them about getting a whole day off. Mom agrees that that is necessary ( thank gawd!) so since Lovee is off on Mondays I will be too. YAY!!! The one day a week I don't have to get up to an alarm....I'm soooo looking forward to that. I rarely sleep in but it will be nice to wake up on my own.

I'm amazed at how relaxed I am at their house. There is absolutely no stress to this. I find that interesting. I mean, I find myself anticipating ahead of time what they might say or do in a situation and try to make things easier for them. Of course, silly me, I tried to organize my
dad's 'nest'. He has a table on either side of 'his' chair that are cluttered beyond when I was dusting yesterday, I rearranged some stuff to make it look neater. Whoa-Nellie!! Unbeknownst to me, he has a system to that madness, so he rearranged it back. He didn't say anything though. So now, I'll just lift and dust. :)

My life has become a bit easy now in the brain department. I'm not constantly thinking of weird stuff anymore. Not sure if that's a good thing or what. Maybe just different?
Traffic doesn't bother me very much anymore. I expect ppl to drive stupid and they what....Nothing is getting to me anymore. Is this a good thing?

Oh well, it is what it is.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

My 7 things

  1. I love color on my walls
  2. I have daily issues with my hair....I want it long, I want it short.etc..
  3. I've just recently discovered I have Adult ADD :)...oh look, a chicken.....
  4. I'm creative
  5. I think too much most of the time
  6. I love being outside in the sun,pool,hiking...etc.
  7. I love surprises's that? I'm sure there's more to me than just those things but for the life of me I can't think of what it would be. ha ha

Friday, May 18, 2007

WTF is mucus anyway

and where does it come from? Geez-o-pete!!! I'm drowning in it. And why does it only exit through the nose? I mean, I know it goes other places...not going to get all medical here, but why does the HEAD store it all? And the lungs? How gross!! :( I'm still sick.( DUH!) Had to break down and go to the Dr. this morning. Since I'm in between insurances at the present I had to use the Redi-Clinic at the Wal~Mart. Neat concept. Saw a Nurse Practitioner...great gal....I managed to get an acute sinus infection coupled with a bit of inflamation in the lungs. ( More mucus!!) My peak flow meter for my asthma only got to 250. It should be in the 350 to 400 range. Red flag there. So, $59.00 for the consult and $160.00 for meds and I'll be fine in a few days. Insurance is a really good thing. June 1st I'll be insured again. Thank god!
Funny thing is on the diagnosis she put down the sinus infec/lung inflam/ and here is the interesting thing...."Caregiver role strain". Hummmm...she asked what work I was in so I said I care for my parents and can't afford to be ill because then nobody would be there. I didn't know I was strained. Interesting.
Gotta go blow the mucus from this red swollen orafice thing called a nose!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Our # 4 son called!!!!!!!

Awwwwwww, California son is sooo special to us. I'll spare everyone all the details as to how he came to be our # 4 son, but he's the most loving son anyone could ask for. I think I'll refer to him as Squidly! He's navy!
Anyway, he's been our #4 son for about 30 years now. He's got a totally gorgeous wife and 2 boys who I seriously adore.
We are both sooo bad in the writing department but email has helped a bunch. Their puter crashed and he lost our info for a while so he just called last night. Completely blew us out of the water with the news of what's going on in his life. He gets to go to the FBI National Academy!!!!
That is THE school to go to if one is in Law Enforcement. Lovee went there before he retired and calls it one of the most memorable accomplishments of his career. Way biggly cool!! I can't express how far he's come and how proud we are of him. He's.......he's.............well......we jsut love him to pieces. Kinda like ETK! Can't imagine our life w/o them in it!!!!!

Which just gave me another 'aha' moment. Lovee and I are so lucky. It reminds me of what we used to tell the urchins when they were younger. We aren't rich w/ money but we're rich w/ love and family. And in the grand scheme of things that's what counts. We count 7 kids in our family.......#1,2,3,4 sons and # 1,2 and 3 daughters!! It's even more cool that I only had to birth 2 of them..ha ha :) # 3 daughter is in me some Kel!!!

When Lovee and I are old and sitting in our nests just passing time and wipeing the drool off our chins, those 7 precious babies will keep our minds busy, thinking of everything that made us a family.
Oh-Oh-OH.......I almost forgot # 5 son!! How could I forget the Swede?!!! The exchange sutdent that wasn't ours but felt like it . He calls us every now and then to catch us up on what's going on w/ his family. Beautiful wife and 2 adorable wee ones.
Love me some urchins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just had a thought....a good one but one that will never happen sadly. Wouldn't it be the most beautiful thing if somehow ALL of us could get together and have a picture taken!!! It would be hard to get my Swede here!! But who could happen. What a warm thought it is.

Plus, I have a feeling that there is a tweb out there who's heartworming her way into my puffy one! Actually, I think she already has. She's my younger more daring me some monkey!

Enough rambling for one morning. Gotta get back to reality.
Go get mulch......
Go mop the floors and clean the baths for the folks..........
go cook and do another mani on the Dad..........
Ah, reality......................keeps it real doesn't it!

You might want to get some cheese

to go with what you're about to read....Ok, I'm finally out of my delusion that what's wrong w/ me is just allergies. It's a dadgum cold.
For real! I hate colds. I know nobody likes them but they make me a bit of a whiner and I hate whiners!( did you get some crackers for the cheese yet?) It's the stuffy head feeling that gets to me. Go away. Needless to say, my sleep was interupted alot last night. Plus..this morning I found some medicine that help w/ congestion but it's for nighttime........I took it anyway, what the heck. It's gonna be a sleepy day fo sho!

On a more positive note, the Dad loved the mulch in the flower bed in front of the house so much that this morning I have to go get some more to put in the backyard flower bed! He's kinda slow to warm up to ideas that cost $$. He a squeezer when it comes to parting w/ $$. So I get to do that today.....bring on the sweat...again. I've also got to get the hedge trimmers out and do the front holly bushes. Those lil mothers really hurt when you get too close.
I like yard work but not w/ this dang cold. UGH!!
I need sleep or good rest or anything for some relief.........blah,blah,blah.........

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Thought for the day

When we drink, we get druck. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to Heaven!!!!!




Good Lord I was sick yesterday!
Still not sure if it's a major allergy thing or a cold. I hardly ever get a sore throat but mine felt raw! the nose leaked constantly.....regular drill. The Mom said it was probably allergy cuz I was playing in the dirt the day before and I have a big allergy to mold. Hummm, that's a thought. She let me go home early, that was nice. Had I still been at the bank I would have called in sick!
We had a dozen errands to run yesterday. And naturally it rained...again! That didn't help. Did the ironing, cleaned the room and bath my B-inlaw used, went to the Walmart to compare mulch prices to Home depot, grocery store, did the pill counting for both of them and of course...put lotion on the Dad's feet. :) My Mom said he was being pampered. I reminder her that she gets pampered at the nail salon. She agreed.
Anyway, today I've got to get about 10 bags of mulch before I head that way. Hope someone is there to load it into Suzi!

I'm feeling better today though, so that's a plus. No sore throat! YEA!!!!

MADE the time to make a quick call to my BFF. I felt better after I did that so I called the girls at work and chatted a bit too. What ever did we do before cell phones?
I hate to waste time, which is what driving does...right? I mean, you just sit there listening to the radio or in my case blaring my Josh Grobin CD......which put a song in my head that won't leave and I end up humming it ALL night. Hate that!! with a cell phone you can take care of keeping in touch. No long conversations but enough to let someone know you're thinking about them. I'm a bit anal about using my ear bud. It's a pet peeve. Ppl w/o them drive way to stupid for me.


Gotta get my home chores done now. I can't figure out if we're just dirty messy ppl or if we're clean freaks! For just 2 ppl living here we seem to have alot of dirty clothes. Why is that?
And Lovee has banished the little mutts to the kitchen so my kitchen floor is ALWAYS dirty and needs a good swiffering! If I don't get off this puter it'll never get done!

Enjoy your day!

Monday, May 14, 2007

gotta phone call tonight

From ETK..........She takes time out of her very busy schedule to call me at least one or twice a week just to chat! How sweet is that! Lovee and i get so excited whenever she calls. I want to talk to a bunch of ppl , but somehow I never seem to make the time....that's the key right there.
She 'makes' the time. When I grow up I want to be just like her! :)
Geesh, how much longer will I have to wait? ( to grow up)
When my BFF and I went and got out tatoo's for our 50th birthdays I told the tattoo artist that I finally felt 'grownup' now! geez-o-pete.........I was 50 and finally allowed myself to get something I always wanted but was too afraid of what other ppl would think. Guess i need to take more charge of my life. Ya think?!
I'm on the right track I think though.
Still get randon ridiculous thoughhts going through the ol' grape, but that's part of what makes me ,me I think. No cookie cutter here that's for sure.
I used to anoy my BFF so often w/ my sillies and dumb ideas. Ha-ha I think I still could.... :)..but I hate to push her buttons now that I'm older. Of course she's in such a good place now that I doubt I could do it too often. I wouldn't want to anyway. xo
When you've known someone for, ah...lets see....37 years......38 in June, I needs to rethink and remember what 's important and let go of superfulous stuff. Right? in other of us needs to call more often....even if it's to just say " hi, how was your day" just to hear the others voice.
Oh, shit!! Those damn pills I take every night have started kicking in monsterously.....once again the backspace key is being used too muchh.
good thought s for everyone...

Third week

seems like I've been there longer... hummmm...
Today was a really good day though. I got 8 Azeleas planted! Had to turn the dirt up and weed the garden then add some peat moss then plant. Took me about 3 hours but I really enjoyed it. Sweated my eyeballs out and ended up w/ all my makeup on the inside of my shirt! My Mom, bless her heart, brought me a cold,wet towel to wipe my face with and to help cool me off. it was only 90 today but very humid. I always loved playing in the dirt as a's gotten a bit more complicated now but still fun!


Took the Dad to see the Diabetic Dr. today. He's doing good. As she checked his feet I noticed how dry and scaly his feet and legs were so tomorrow I'm gonna lotion him up. Probably right after i do the daily mani ! He told me about a rough nail before I even put my purse down.....cracked me up. He is getting soooo pampered. It's ok w/ me tho!


As I was fixing part of their dinner tonight my Mom mentioned that I was a " neat cook"...I sorta did a "huh?" thing and she said " You clean up as you go, that's a neat cook"...Well, I said....." I've got a touch of OCD and it kicks in whenever I'm cooking".
She said she never noticed that about me before. Interesting..... We are noticing things about each other that we have either never known or forgot or never noticed. She's even letting her humor show through at times. That's a rare thing anymore. I'm enjoying it.
She's even becoming concerned about me working so much and wants to figure out how to give me more time off!!!!! Can you believe that Sisterlittle!! She decided Fridays I could leave as soon as she's finished at the hairdresser. That'll make it about 1 p.m.....Fridays are "pot pie' nights....every Friday!.........I'm soooo good with that arrangement. :) I'll set the oven before I go and she can put them on a tray and turn the dial to Bake. Dinner is done!
Now I've gotta figure out Sundays.......that's their usual 'eat out' day. I need to try and change that to a week day..... hummmmmmm

My Mom is concerned that i may decide to quit one day. Awwww, that made me sad. I assured her I will never do that. So then she got concerned that something catastrophic may happen and THEN what would they do?? I had to reasure her that arrangements could be made in the unlikely event that a Semi plowed through me on the dreaded HWY 169. Bless her heart..she is so relaxing and enjoying this. Should have done it sooner.
I know, hindsight is 20/20. None of us were ready to commit to this sooner or we would have I'm sure.
I do think this journey, as I've called it, may be a most uneventful one. Probably more mundane and ordinary than I first thought. Why? Because they are both relaxing so much more than I ever thought they would. Plus, my Aha moment about my Mom not trying to tell me what to do so much as trying to keep a wee bit of control.
So...we'll see.
It is what it is!
Thanks tweb! :)

My new Credo---

My favorite Survivor person, Yau-Man, said that and it makes so much sense!!
I'm stealing that too.
Feel free to do the same.
hugs to all-----------

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Survivor Finale...:(

Yau-man was so totally robbed! Not sure if anyone but me watched that, but I'm so addicted to it and really had a big favorite from the start. Yau-man is a 54 year old asian guy who played this game better than I have ever seen it done!! I'm not too dissappointed that Earl won..he was my second choice ; and I'm seriously glad that Dreamz lost it!! Shit head!

Now I just have to wait for Big Brother in July! Love that show too!!! I I were younger I'd so totally try out for that show!!!!!!!!!!!!! But unfortunately the "older " ones usually go I'm, once again, finding myself living vicariously through others. Which actually has it's good points.
When my fog lifts, I'll remember them . :) ha

Geez.....the damn pills have kicked in again..............I'v got so much more to say but it'll have to wait for tomorrow.

Happy Mothers day to me!!

Awwww, I feel so loved.
My Lovee had new clothes laid out on the bed for me today when I got home from taking the parents to church!! It's fairly warm at their house cuz they're old and have thin skin so it's around 80 or so. I sweat every day. I mentioned to Lovee that I needed to go shorts shopping. That is something I usually don't wear in public ...just our back yard...I'm a capri girl. Anyway he got me some shorts and a skort sorta thing, which I love!... and some tops. How sweet is that! We had to exchange the skort cuz it was the wrong size, even though it was stretchie....I needed a bigger size. How sweet he thinks I'm smaller than I am by 2 sizes!!! He also wrote me the most beautiful note. Made for some heavy leakage of the eyeballs! He loves me..Period!
Not "if' I do this or that and not "because" I do this or that, but "PERIOD"! What ever did I do to deserve that!!! I squished him completely flat! ha :)
Our local urchins came by to say hi and watched a movie with us. Then back to T-town to take the parents to dinner.
********just in case you haven't seen The it!'s 'Top Gun,"Perfect Storm,"and "Cast Away" all rolled in together!! Kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I told sunshine I wanted to flip to the end of the "book" for a sec to get an idea how it was going to end, but of course she said NO! Hey it's my day, I shoulda got my way...right?! Naw...such abuse.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Webbed tootsies

I love thunder storms and rain and all but seriously....I think I noticed my toes starting to grow some webbing! We've had waayyy too much rain lately. So much tht the air is starting to smell like a swamp! Hear come the musquitos! Yucko!! Those little buggers don't bother me much but Lovee is a magnet for them. Itchie-itchie!
Nothing really new is happening on the parent front. In fact, since my 'aha' moment, things have been very relaxed. No stress.
My Dad mentions it time for his mani almost before I even set my purse down. How sweet it that. I think he likes the individual attention. So do I.
He was measured at the Dr. office the other day. They say he's 5'6"...he used to be 5'10"...but actually he's about 5'3" when he's walking around. It hurts for him to stand up straight so he walks around sort of hunched over and looks me square in the eye balls. So sweet. I also am his hairdresser! I buzz his little bald head and trim the wires he calls eyebrows and burr out his ears. Ah, the fun times of a daughter and her Daddy! Priceless.
the pills are kicking in...i'm suing the backspace bar way too many times........later!
hugs to all!
tt-out ;)

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


I forgot to say 'contact' yesterday and she reminded me! ha ha How funny is that?!

My b-inlaw is in town. He's having to go through that dreaded thing that we all look forward to at some time in our lives...helping out his ailing "Nana" who is the most adorable person ever and his Aunt. Nana is 18 days shy of turning 100!!! Isn't that amazing! She is the most sweet natured person ever and it's very painful to see her decline as she has the past few months. So hard to get things done long distance and it puts him in such a quandry as to what to do for her in the nursing home to improve her quality of life. Sad.
I wish my sisterlittle was here too. But school is still in session so that couldn't happen. She's an awesome teacher!! Next month she'll be here and I'm really looking forward to seeing her. YAY!

I mad Hamberger soup yesterday at the Mom's request. I LOVE that stuff. But she watched me the whole time to make sure I did it like her. I didn't. She said she actually learned something from me though....huh...imagine that! Whenever I drain meat, I put a piece of foil in the sink making a well of sorts into the drain. Then I put a folded paper towel over that. Next is the collander thingie which the meat gets poured into. take the collander up and...viola!!...grease is trapped ...fold up the foil w/ the paper towel and grease and no mess. Da-dah!! She had never seen that done and thought it was great. Go figure. She mentioned it several she actually learned something new...from her daughter no less. Of course I chopped the carrots different but as I told her...."same result Mom"....." yes, but you do it different"..." that's cuz I'm different from you, remember?"" yep, that's true" she said while leaning on the counter with her eagle eye trained on my every move. But, I was ok with it. If I really stop and look at her, she can be such a pathetic thing really. Guess it's ok to let her have her moments......let her feel like she has something to offer. I'll be there one I have to remember that whole universe thing. I've gotta put good stuff out there where she's concerned so it doesn't come back and bite me square in the ass! :)
My Dad spent half the day "cleaning up" his car for my B-in law to use while he's here. He's so cute to do that. Gave him something else to do. He's a putterer.
Putter on Daddy, putter on!

Today is nail day. Mom gets a fill and new polish every 3 weeks. Cute. I may even splurge and get a mani for myself.
I hope I can find my way there w/o getting us lost. ;) Oh yea, I forgot, she'll be there to guide me the whole time. What a gal!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007


My tattoo is an abomination.

Just thought I'd share that w/you. That being said I also feel like sharing the fact that I plan on getting another one. This one will be a 'pink' flamingo w/ our TR brand on it's belly.

How coolishious is that!!!
Gotta go paint and spackle that smile on............

To the universe...............enjoy the day!

I'm 12 yrs old, but I can drive...sorta

It finally happened. It's just the beginning of my 2nd week and I guess Mom is 'comfortable' enough with our arrangement that she can tell me what I'm doing wrong. :( Actually I'm not doing stuff wrong, I'm just doing it a different way but getting the same end result. Of course in 'Mom's world" it's still being done wrong.
Take driving for example. With out Mom's instruction, I don't think I could find my way around T-town, even though I grew up here. I must take the route she goes or I'm going the wrong way. She's been like that for years but it's worse now. Dad's actually the same way but he usually adds," of course you can go which ever way you want, but we go this way." Her vision is bad to start with, which is why I'm doing this whole thing for them...Dad's is too..but when she says in one sentence that it's a really bad vision day ( her words) and then proceeds to tell me where to turn and park in a dark parking garage...I gotta scratch me head! WTF? The obvious answer is that she's driven herself there so many times that she remembers...but...HELLO...I can see too. She is constantly asking me if I can "see that?" Yes, i tell her. " My vision is the same as yours was at my age..remember how well you could see when you were my age?"
Yes she replies.
"you better get over in that other lane or we won't be able to turn'
" I'm waiting on the cars to pass before I do that Mom."
"ok, well we're almost to the corner."
" I see that Mom..I've got my blinker on but there are too many cars passing us right now so I'll have to wait untill there's an opening or we'll get squished."
" well, I can't see very well."
" I know Mom, that's why I'm driving."
My Mom has always been a control freak. But I think it's gotten worse since her vision has worsened. It's like "speech" is her only avenue of control. And beleave me she uses it biggly!!!!!!!!!!
So, I just say " ok,Mom" and go about my business. It's easier than argueing with her. She needs to be right so I let her.
But I gotta tell ya, it frustrates the HELL outta me!
I like to use goofy phrases to describe things at times. It's silly but I'm quirky about stuff like that. I like to play with words. Like when ever I start to back ut of the garage i say" contact".
That's just my way of telling them, the car is going to start moving...she says " why do you say 'contact'...."cuz I'm letting you know we're backing out" ..."why not say 'we're back out'...." cuz this is more fun" now whe repeats it after I say it. hummmmmmmm.
Whenever we pass by my car I'll say " there's Suzi-Su-V, isn't she pretty!" She'll say..." I've never known someone who talks to their car"....."I'm just being silly Mom."..."oh"

Whenever I go out for a smoke, which is maybe 2x a day, I'll say " I'm going to have tea with the queen"...she'll reply" no, you're going out for a smoke"..." yea, but it's more funner to say having tea w/ the queen coz you know I'm not but you know what I'm really doing"" she'll say that's silly.......I know, just trying to make you smile. " it doesn't work. :( But I do it anyway.
Oh well, it is what it is, right?

Mom- did you see that I buy Cold water Tide?
me - yes
Mom- well you have the washer on warm
me - Sorry, I always wash towels in warm water
Mom- well it's on the wrong setting too
me - Oh, well, that's the setting I use at home
Mom- it doesn't rinse as well on this setting and I use cold water for everything. That's why I buy cold water Tide.
Me - ok, lesson learned,,cold water only.
Mom- that's a good girl.

So now, I'm 12 being taught how to keep house ( which , did you know you can't keep house w/o a hand mixer?!) but i can drive.

We've had way too much rain for the last couple weeks. I think we all need some Sun!!

Sunday, May 6, 2007


As I was driving home today from taking the parents to Sunday school and Church my mind was realing. Too bad I didn't have some sort of voice recorder that would instantly scribe to this blog! I can't even remember all the stuff that got squished out of my grape it was so ..jumbled. But, here are some of them.......................
I actually enjoyed the Sermon. A "certified Lay Speaker" gave it today coz "pastor Sharon" was on vacation. Anyway, as I said I did enjoy it; mainly because I could feel her passion for what she was speaking on. Which got me to thinking about other peoples passions. Actually my own passions or rather, seemingly lack there of! What goes on to make someone really passionate about something? Is it learned or taught or something like genetics...being born w/ it? Does it come from some "close encounter", or tragic occurance in your life...
I"ve always admired ppl who can do something I can't. Like singers; I can sing but not very well( my dogs howl) ; Dancers; I can dance.. I danced for years when I was young; into my mid teens- still love it but I can't really do it. Like.. muscians; I can't play any instruments. I could never get the concept of those little notes meaning something. Like...writers--I really admire them for their use of words and being able to describe in words something that I couldn't, in my wildest dreams begin to convey. Umm, artists....I can draw a little..but I can't actually do something that would inspire the masses..their use of forms and shapes and colors to be able tocreate something out of nothing. Designers, Doctors, Nurses, Pilots, Scientist, Florists,Lawyers, Police and Firemen for cripes sake.....there is a passion that those ppl have that makes them do what they do. Where does that come from and why doesn't everyone have it?
I know ppl who have a passion for something....or are passionate about something. They appear "normal" on the outside just like eveeyone else, but their insides are evidently different than mine. Why is that? It's a retorical question but a question none the less.
So, all this made me wonder what my passion is or was. I don't think I have one. That makes me sort of sad. I love some music but it's not my passion. I love dance but it's not my passion.
I can appreciate art but it's not my passion. I love to read but it's not my passion. You get my drift here I'm sure. :)

At one time in my life I was depressed actually that I only saw myself ans a wife and mother. It seemed to me that I should have aspired to do more. I always wanted to be a Nurse for example but the sciences and math it took to persue that were not in the cards for me. At some point not too long after having that thought, someone, I'm not sure who, asked me what was wrong w/ being a wife and mother.? The more I thought about it I decided.....nothing! So I decided to be a better wife and a better mother. I decided that maybe that would be my "calling" so to speak. Not terribly exciting, but very worthwhile!! After all, I had the most wonderful husband in the world ( still not sure what I did to deserve him!!!) and 2+2+1 kids that I loved more than anything in the world too.
But here's where I'm stuck. With all that being said, what am I passionate about? I, for some reason, need to figure it out.

Or............will some of us simply go through life w/o a passion? Just doing whatever we can to be useful or helpful or whatever.......just loving and doing the best we can in various endeavors without one particular level of expertise?

Geesh...... tell the voices to be quiet !

Gotta go have tea with the Queen now......gotta get out my sifter too........

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Road work & stoopido ppl

Why is it that the Hwy Dept decided to do repair work during rush hour? I know it's not planned that way, as least I try not to buy into that whole comspiracy theory, BUT..why can't they stop doing it when rush hour starts? AND, why don't they give ppl a heads-up that 2 out of 3 lanes will be closed up ahead ...say..I don't know....maybe a 1/2 mile before instead of right where they're working? Geesh.....everything bottle necks and it takes a half hout to go 1 mile!
I haven't had to experience rush hour traffic in YEARS! Now that I drive to the parents house every day I'm in the mix. UCK-O!!!! I saw a wreck on Monday and Tuesday...and had to deal w/ that whole repair job yesterday. It is what it is i guess. Can't change it so I might as well accept it but, I can certainly bitch about it if I want to!


This has got to be the first week in, I don't know how many years, that went so smooth I wondered if I was on the right planet. I had a headache everyday but I think that was sinus related. No stress. Happy face was genuine, not painted on, during the paint and spackle phase of my morning routine.
It's Saturday so that means Denny's for breakfast. Every Saturday. There's comfort in a routine for the parents. So, better get my arse going before I'm late and they think I've been in a wreck on that dreaded HWY 169!!
Obviously they've never been to Houston!!!!!!!!!!! Or Dallas....or Chicago....or ATL!!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Lovee's day

Took my sweetie to dinner and then for icecream. He was waiting for me out on the driveway. He's just so darn cute!! I even drove..with his direction of course. ha ha
He spent the rest of the evening on the phone taking in well wishes and Happy Birthdays. He didn't put his present together yet...he'll probably do that this weekend when he finally gets "the cake". Ummmmmmm...even I can't wait for that. For someone's who's celebrating the 28th year of his 29th Birthday, he's looking mighty-sexy-fine! That's all I'm gonna say cuz for some, even that was TMI.

Purse issues

Am I alone in the quest to find a purse that has ALL of the features I'm looking for? I know Sisterlittle and I have talked about this...we're constantly on the lookout for the PP. (perfect purse) We've even talked about starting our own line...Doubt that will ever happen but I think about it all the time!!
So, a while back I had the folks in Dillards looking for,.... I don't remember what we were looking for now,.....anyway I briefly caught a glimpse of a purse I loved at first sight! Mom was needing to go home so I couldn't take the time to really check it out. I did quickly look at the tag tho and loved the $ 20.00 price. That made it even more enticing . I figured I'd just come back later . Well, that was 3 weeks ago. So, today I decided to do just that. I'd told Lovee if it was still there then it was meant to be. Afterall, how often do you see something for $ 20 bucks at Dillards that you love?!
So, I go and timidly ( for real) look in the purse direction and I saw it!!!!!! Yep, still there. It's hard to describe..a summer bag, some kind of shinny material infused w/ lots of summer colors, rather tropical. I glanced at the tag again and saw that I remembered it wrong. It wasn't $ 20 but $27. Still ok by me. I thought I'd look around anyway b/c they were having a purse sale but decided I'd better carry it w/ me so I wouldn't tempt fate and have some Ho steal it away from me....since it had waited for me all this time. ;)
I didn't find anything else, well...there was a Coach bag that I reeeaallly liked, but it was $ 385.00 and I just can't justify that ( to myself) no matter what. So, i go up to the counter, take all the tissue out so I can see how much room is actually in it. (I do carry alot of stuff...ya never know when something might come in handy!) I look at the tag again and ...GASP!! COUGH!! I misread the damn tag!! It's not $27.00 ...add another zero to it.......$270.00!!! Shitfuckdamn!!! I had waited 3 weeks to get this bag only to discover it wasn't meant to be after all. I was sad...but, determined to find a summer purse.
So, I walked over to Penny's and looked around for about 5 minutes and viola'.......found one! ON SALE too!! 35 marked down to 21! YAY for me.

It's truly the little things........I'm so anal sometimes no?

This is work?

Nah....not like the work I'm used to anyway. This was another rather uneventful day. The only "work" I did was change the sheets and launder them and fix them dinner. That's about it.
I read some more of my book, read the paper, went to the grocery for some lettuce for the dinner salad....Talked to a couple gals from my "old work"...watched some more storms( these had no thunder or lightning though, shucks!.) And talked to them.
We did go visit my B-inlaw's g-ma in a Nursing home though. She's so tiny and cute! But sadly is slowly fading away. Her mind is still quite alert for someone who's about to turn 100!!!! tho-
Mom did great w/ her during the visit which sort of surprised me. With Mom, it's usually all about her..her aches and pains, her ....everything. But today it wasn't. I was so proud of her. She's been unusually good . I like it. I think this ( me being there)may be what she's needed for some time now. She's content and unstressed for the first time in a long time.
It's a good thing.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Shout out to my Sisterlittle

You are wonderful! Keep going in the same direction sis.... you've got it inside of you to tackle that #%@*&#! condesending shitty bitch. Keep her in her place. It's new for her, but what the fuck!
Sick 'em!
(maybe the earth will swallow her up one day! teehee!!!)

I love you awful!!!!!!!!!

Lovee's Birthday!!!!!!

Woohoo!!! Tomorrow is Lovee's birthday. His is the 2nd and # 1 son's is the 5th!
Happy's to them both.
We don't have any plans tho....He does want "the cake"..but wants to wait for Saturday. Ok by me.
Hard to beleave how long we've been together. He was just 23 when we got married,I was a mere 19. Wow, how time flies when your having fun with a magnificent man! He's had 34 birthdays since we've been married !! I hope he has at least that many more...with me by his side!
Wow, talk about a ride!~

Day 2

Well, day 2 was also mostly uneventful. Hummmmmmmm, I know it's only been 2 days now but it's almost like I'm waiting for the bomb to drop. Silly me, I'm not sure what I expected...fact, I had absolutely NO idea what to expect but the last 2 days were NOT what I expected. Things are running so smooth and natural like. I've learned Dad's insulin gun and can check his sugar levels. I even checked mine today just to see what it was like to get the finger poked. Ouch...kinda like a paper cut only the sting goes away faster and it healed up real quick. Dad's reading was 157. Mine was 99. Mom said I was a bit low. Hum...well- ------------------IT IS WHAT IT IS! :) Don't know, don't care...yet.
Mom said, as she was taking one of her wee naps on the love seat," I feel like a lady of leisure!".
I told her that was part of the plan. :) Today I......
filled the pill boxes
learned the insulin gun-thingie
tested sugar
read my book
watched the storms that too! It really is relaxing.
made meatloaf for their dinner
left by 5:45.
The thing that's so weird is that I am actually doing less than I did at work, but my day is going by faster. That's a puzzler for the grape to ponder. Am I possibly happier now that I know they are being cared for? Am I possibly less stressed having that knowledge. Maybe it's just that I'm not in a high stress position anymore and am able to relax more myself. Maybe it's all of the above.
My sisterlittle said to look at this as being in my second month. :) And if accuracy is important then I am...sorta...Monday was technically April and today is May. Makes me feel like a pro at this . She's so cute!
Looks like this adventure may be very quiet for a least for a while.