last night I was talking to the ever fabulous ETK as she and Baby were driving to Hilton Head for the weekend. We got on the subject of people and how some people are half glass full and some are half glass empty. We both agree that the hge people can really drag you down and actually make you tired. Depending on how YOUR day is going, they can completely drain all of your energy making you feel like a complete slug who's not even capable of leaving any sort of a slimy trail ;....or if your day was fairly decent, up to the time of seeing the hge person they could at least drain you to the point of ....wishing you'd never seen them.
I'm not doing so well in my description but I'm sure you get my drift.
Anyway, this evening, while we were having our every.fucking.sunday.night.dinner.out.with.the.parentals meal....a thought slapped me right across the grape. I,me,tt, turn into one of those dreaded hge people. Usually on Sunday nights. Some other days or nights it occurs too but mainly Sundays. That's the day I work a split. ( seems like it anyway) I leave their house about 12:30 or 1:00...after we get back from church and do whatever chores the Mom dreams up for me. Then Lovee and I go back about 5 p.m. for our every.fucking.sunday.night.dinner.out with.the.parentals meal. I've written about this before..about how I usually just turn everything over to Lovee and I just walk around like a mute zombie..mumbling something every so often so that Lovee knows I'm alive....or answering questions from one of the parentals. Tonight was just like every other sunday. Except..... the conversation i had with ETK revisited me and I realized...I'm one of those dreaded hge people....not all the time....but deffinitely on Sundays.
The sad thing is I don't have any idea of how to change it. None. Nada. Zip. Zero...nuthin'.
I wasn't this way before i started my beck and call girl gig. It's been an evolving process.
My Mom has always been one though. Shit! is it catching? Since I firmly believe that attitudes are contageous....have I caught hers????? shitfuckdamn!!!
I feel totally helpless to stop the process.
Stop the world...I wanna get off......just for a while though....K?
K, I'm through. I'm gonna go get some cheese and crackers now to go with my whineing....
I'm empty.
Gotta refill
Lovee's calling me....
That'll help :)
Do I need some little pills maybe????
9 comments:
Some days are just worse than others. Sometimes it builds up and until it all goes boom and you have to let off steam. Then, it gets better again.
I'm basically a pessimist. I'm never disappointed that way. ;-)
You are NOT turning into one of those HGE people. I will NOT allow it. I will send you to your room. You are simply burnt out and you need that vacation. I wish it weren't so far away. You also need a way to just "turn over" parental responsibilities now and then.
Seriously, you need a break. A break longer than one effing measly Monday, where you still run errands and think about what you need to do for them, and get root canals, etc. I know you love them and you don't want them to think that they've burdened you, and I totally understand that, but...
YOU NEED A REAL BREAK.
You need multiple contiguous days without responsibility.
Now, we just need to figure out how. Let me put the thinking cap on again.
Were there any bright ideas in that book about caregivers? I will do some research too.
Those are the times I find a couple of glasses of a nice Pinot Noir or large tumbler of Crown do wonders to refresh my outlook. :)
I know exactly what you're talkin about. It's not that you're turning into one of those ghe peeps, it's that you're just TIRED from the week. And the same ole shit routine, is boring the snot out of you. It's so easy to fall into that phase when you have the same predictable shit happening every.single.sunday.night. And when your momz is that GHE person (speaking from experience) you go into that mode so you can better "handle" her.
And since I still luv ya, that means you're not that person so shut it!
I don't know that if it only happens on Sunday that you're turning into one of those people... I think you just dread Sunday's and the dinners you're forced to attend.
My advice? Get rip roaring drunk before you go. Everything is more fun while you're drunk. ;)
Jay--there's something to that whole pessimist thing...but that's just not me..:)..you're right..sometimes things just need to go boom i guess.
etk--vacation is coming...yay... and go ahead, send me to my room! I LOVE it there;)...
13-- Crown...that's the ticket!!! I keep forgetting about it. silly me ;)
Monkey--You're right..as usual. she's contageous..and I'm susceptable. Humm..consider it shut...for now.
talisman-- ya know...a nice drink or two, just to take the edge off may work. I never thought about that. I'll try it next sunday and see if I get fulled up a bit :)
Thanks all..I really appreciate your thoughts and ideas...:)
You definitely are NOT a HGE person. NOT AT ALL!!! Far from it. TT, it's totally ok to vent about frustrations. It's healthy. Let it out! It's perfectly ok to have negative thoughts form time to time.
I agree with ETK. You need a break. A real break.
TT it may not be a bad idea to hire in a nursing assistant for 2 days per week. For example on Sunday and Monday or Friday and Saturday. People need their breaks or they end up breaking themselves.
Look into county help (social services) - I don't think it's as expensive. I know their are options for doing something like this. Even your parents need a break too. They may not think so, but they do.
Don't break yourself.
dianne: wow..I KNEW we were related in some way..:) Happy Belated to the son!
Now...wanna go outside and have a smoke w/ me?? I'm lonesome..;)
big-ass hugs back atcha!!
Alli and Jen: you're both right..I guess I am...I'm thinking I shouldn't post when I'm that pooped. It's just not a good thing.
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