Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I'm reallly curious.....

about relationships...with friends...that's what I'm squeezing the grapes about today....

Here's a few posers for anyone who may like to give me some input.

1. Do you 'expect' your good or best friends to- call you?

I do. Emails are fine for quick questions or little miss yous or thinking of you things...but nothing replaces a phone call. Well, except the next item.....

2. Do you 'expect' your good or best friends to- visit you if they live fairly close?

I do. In TT's world :) friends don't need an invitation. The door is always open. Especially these days or actually the last few years when I've been so limited because of my care giver duties. I know people get busy and everyday life gets in the way, but how hard is it to carve out some time for a 'friend'?

3. Do you 'expect' your good or best friends to- invite you to their home?

I do. Why not? If you can't go for some reason plan another time. How hard is that?

4. do you 'expect' your good or best friends to- include you in fun things you both enjoy?

I do. If you share the same genre of activities why not include each other?

5. Do you 'expect' your good or best friends to be up to date on your goings on?

I do. Especially best friends. Should you have to do all the 'telling' or do you expect them to ask for information. I think friends should be interested in most aspects of your life....otherwise why would you consider them a friend.

6. Do you 'expect' your good or best friends to tell you how it is or sugar coat it?

I personally think women tend to sugar coat things so as not to hurt feelings. But at the same time I think it's wrong. Because if you aren't straight forward enough things can get misconstrued and all twisted up and resentment can build. It's the old " i can't tell him/her what I really think about this because I may loose a friend" Well.......if you loose the friend because you were honest about your feelings then what did you really loose? Honesty doesn't have to be mean spirited.

I know most of these questions may seem childish or boring, but have you ever really thought of what you expect out of a friendship?

I know it takes time to build a true relationship with someone. A friend is different than an acquaintance obviously. A true, life long friend is rare I think. I mean couples marry because they're in love....people become friends because of commonalities....but,down the road when one or both of them change....there's a split.


that's it for now....I'm through squeezing the grapes for today.

(I still hate that damn TT thingie!)


Dez said...

TT: Right you are!! I expect all of those things! I'm lucky enough to have a best friend that we can talk to about anything; basically, do all that is on your list.

Ron said...

Hi TT!

Just wanted to stop by and say thank you for dropping by my blog earlier today. It was so nice meeting you.

These are great questions!

All of my really close relationships are low-maintenance. Meaning, we don't "expect" anything from one another - other than being honest when we ask each other our opinions.

I try and allow my friendships to be "unexpecting." It seems to be more relaxed that way.

Again, thanks for stopping by my blog.

Hope you had a great day!

I'll be back!

meno said...

I expect that my friends and i will both make the effort to see each other.

tt said...

Dez: lucky gal!! I used to have that...I miss it.

Ron: I think I don't expect things from new friends..I like the idea of casual friends...but the ones that are as old as I am..ahem...I really do expect reciprocation... shit...guess that means i read Emily Post one too many times.
AND....I so enjoy your blog. what gigglesnorts you give me :)

Meno: I think that's what I was trying to say..why do I take the scenic trail instead of the straight shot?? OY!!

Diane J Standiford said...

I gave up on friends by 26. I would visit u a lot if we were neighbors. I don't expect anything anymore. I always loved exchanging cards...nobody else did. Life goes on. Luckily I have blog friends.

Anonymous said...

I've tried to ease up on expectations, because I fail at so many myself -- why would I expect others to do better than I manage to do?

That said, I do feel more loved if those things you listed actually happen.
One set of gal pals & I get together for a weekend once a year, where we laugh and treat each other special. The e-mails and phone calls inbetween vary in frequency. We simply have busy lives.