Things to remember

This new gig I have is the biggest challenge I have ever faced in my entire life. Well, maybe it ranks in the top 5 to be more accurate. My new challenge is trying not to take things my folks say too personally. That's really hard. I've had to take myself outside on several occasions to have a 'tt to tt' talk. I tell myself to remember the goals.....to keep them as comfortable as I can in their own home for as long as I can....to be as cheerie and upbeat as I can so as not to worry them....to do the every day tasks that are so challenging to them......etc. The challenge, however, is to myself. I have to remind myself that they're not mean spirited on purpose....it's their age or personal views that were formed a long time ago ( that I may not agree with ) that makes them say some of the things they do. It's hard though. I'm constantly wondering if, given the chance, I will be that way when I'm old. Is there anything I can do right now to 'not' be that way...to not be mean spirited and not have to do things 'my' way because that's the only 'right' way... I've thought about printing out my blog or writing random things down on paper so that I can read them when I get to that stage in my life, as a reminder to myself. Of course then my ADD kicks in, as I'm wondering where I'll keep it so it won't get lost,as I go around the house in search of the best place to put the papers and decide to clean out that drawer or cupboard I've just opened........I'm not at all sure that will work. So, what can I do? Probably nothing. Just hope and pray ( again) that IF one of my children are in a position of being my caregiver,which I sincerely hope that doesn't happen, that I will keep my mouth shut and just be thankful. I'm sure things are getting to me right now because I'm tired. Not having a real day off is really hard on me. I'm such a wuss! It would be much worse if I never got to come home and had to stay there 24/7. I could do it for a week or so if I had to but hopefully that won't happen for a while. My Dad used to be the one who kept me sane. His little jokes or antics. But his mind is doing some funny things lately and it's not funny. I actually found myself avoiding him yesterday simply because I didn't want to give him an opportunity to talk about nonsensical things or worse yet....family. It's sad. I'm sad. I'm tired of crying. I've got to get ready for work now. This is Friday and if Dad's lucky he can play golf. I have to take him over to his friends house at 9. His friend is the one who drives them to the club and watches his ball after he tees off. Dad can't see it. Can't be late! Paint that smile on girl... It's a new day......... New hope is waiting on you..... put that cheerie sing-song lilt in your voice to mask the sadness and go make their day bright! hugs and loves to all!~!!!

My baby girl.......

'Special'...is a nickname I have for H. I've called her that forever I think. She is what I've always called an "old soul". She has always seemed wiser than her years. For several years she has litterally kept me sane in the parent department. You know, the one kid who makes you realize you didn't flunk 'Parenting 101' because she turned out ok. ;) Anyway Special has always talked about having wee ones. I was always thrilled with this idea because I always thought she'd make a terrific mom. Today she got some news we were expecting but it still hit kind of hard. She has PCOS. Here's a brief summary of that. Women with PCOS have ovaries that create an abundance of follicles each month without producing an egg. PCOS can contribute to irregular periods, depression, excessive weight gain (despite diet and exercise efforts), acne, and excess facial hair. It is also a common cause of infertility. So, it can't be cured but it can be managed the Dr. said. She's my special girl.

Thought I'd share........

A STUNNING SENIOR MOMENT A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing .....and," pausing to take another drink of beer. The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little turd, what are you doing for the next generation?" The applause was resounding...

What day is it anyway??

Ok, I'm off kilter a bit since I'm not having any days off. It's hard to remember what day it is. :) Did anyone see the Lunar eclipse this morning???? I woke up at 4 ( then went back to bed) and it was just starting here. By 5 it was totally eclipsed. Too cool. I'm a nut for that sort of thing! Finally got my Lab results. Yay!!! there was a Rx for some Premerin which I said a big "Hell yes"! My high FSH level and low estradiol are consistent w/ memopause it said.( duh)..plus some other news. Seems as though I've let my Cholesterol get a bit out of whack. Oops! My total is 256! So, I'm supposed to do some aerobic exercise such as brisk walking at least 30 minutes a day. Ummm, I'm already doing that, plus swimming at night. Guess I'll keep it up though. He'll recheck me in 6 months. Both my parents have been on meds for that since they were in their 50's. Genetics I guess. I'm really going to try and get it down by diet and exercise. That would be better. Along w/ my new 'old lady' pill I'm supposed to take a flax oil capsule daily too. Man, those things are huge! But, I'm doing it. :) I will do almost anything at this point. I feel so worn out and OLD! I hate that. I don't think I'm old enough to feel this way. So, cross the fingers that the pills work.

Rough Weekend!!

So, I get to the parents house Sat. morning and I walk in and say ( as always)" It's boogers" and my Mom says " come on in to the hospital". Huh??? I think......She's laying on her loveseat, as usual, only she has a rather pained look on her face. It seems she fell when she got out of bed that morning!! Huh?? She said when she stood up it felt like her right foot wasn't there. We're guessing it was asleep and when she stood up, she stood on the side of her foot and then fell. Anyway, Dad got her up and she hobbled to the bathroom. My B-inlaw was here at the time and he got some ice for her foot and a pain pill and her walker from the car. By the time I got there she was on her 'lovely' seat laying down, dressed w/ shoes on. She said she was worried she might have to miss out on Denny's breakfast and she didn't want to do that. Hell no, are you kidding me.....a Saturday w/o Denny's....that's just wrong! :) B- inlaw suggested she go the the minor emergency but she said no, of course.
(My B-inlaw had left for home (Colorado) by the time I got there. Darn)
Mom insisted she was well enough to go to breakfast so we went. She had several wincing pains during our journey so when we got back , I took off her shoe to survey the damage and Holy-Shit!!!!!! Her pinky toe is black all around; her second toe is black at the first knuckle to the tip and the side of her foot is purple!!! "Uh, Mom....we need to go to Minor emergency!" Well, she says, I won't fight you on that cuz it really hurts. I'm thinking...duh!....is Denny's so important that you HAVE to go there before you get your foot fixed?...evidently...yes. Poor thing.
So they took her inside in a wheel chair and xrayed her and sure enough it's broken. ( the 5th metasarsal for those in the know ;) )They put a half cast on it and said to see her Dr. in 3 to 5 days after the swelling goes down. He may want to cast the whole foot or put her in a boot or another half cast. But she has to use her walker all the time. She's too unsteady for crutches. Plus she has to stay off it as much as possible. Ice it about 4 times a day.
So, I spent the rest of the day there. Sunday..we didn't go to Church but I stayed there all day. I had to get there early to cook breakfast for them. Sundays are ALWAYS homemade buttermilk pancakes w/ link sausage. And don't forget the warm syrup! :)
It's gonna be a long 6 weeks friends!

thoughts

I wonder if anyone reeeaallly thinks about the impact of having kids, has on ones life. We all know that infants are adorable...kind of like puppies and kittens. But, they do grow up and become dogs and cats....er, i mean teenagers and then onto adulthood. But the inbetween years...and even the adult years can be.....unforeseen. There is no way to know for sure how that dog/cat/kid will be in when he is older. No way. We can have hope that everything will be fine and dandy but we never know for sure untill.............when? Things can change on a dime. Without warning...or even with subtle warnings you can never be absolutely sure or confident that things will go " as planned" or be "normal". Life as you know it can, in an instant, be turned upside down, never to be the same again. So, why then, do we( ppl) contunue to collect kids and puppies or kittens? Are we that niave' or that optomistic? Are we consumed with hope and so riddled with a Pollyanna syndrome that we can only see "the best life has to offer" in all our futures? Even with warnings of "DANGER", we will proceed to do something if 'we' don't quite believe it. We think we can control the outcome. Well guess what? We can't. Period. Sometimes all we can do is hope and pray.

I've got Monkeys!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay!!!!!!!! Sisterlittle finished my valances!!! They are perfect!! She is quite an accomplished seamstress ya know! Before she went back to school to get her teaching cert. she did interior design!! She's fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As soon as I get a decent pic I'll post them. They look fabulous. Probably not what anyone else would want up on their windows in a livingfoom but it fits me perfectly. PLUS.......she just happened to have a couple of monkey stencils too! I'm gonna put them in out of the way places...peaking out. That was Sisterlittle's suggestion. Works for me. Thanks Sisterlittle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So.....

I'm on my usual 6:15 early-freaking morning walk and I start talking to myself. OUT LOUD!! I think I started out just thinking, silently to myself and all of a sudden I notice I can hear myself think. Well, that made me laugh out loud. All of a sudden it's noisy, all around me at 6:15 in the elfing morning...and the noise is ME!! ha ha I cracked myself up. Anyway, I was telling me that this walk is MY time. It's for me only. For my mental health as well as my physical health and that I shouldn't skip it just because I think I should do another load of laundry or change the sheets or.....blog......that one made me question myself ( lol)... but I got back on my mental track and told me that I shouldn't let anything stop me anymore. I do feel a lot better when I walk. But sometimes my ADD kicks in and before I know it it's time to get ready for "work". Hate it when that happens. So, I'm going to make a more concerted effort to make morning time for myself from now on. ~~~*******~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~****************~~*~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Dad did better today after his golf game. He wasn't slurring his words and didn't fall asleep as soon as we got home. He was actually fairly lively this afternoon. He was acting like the "old" Dad. Cracking jokes and finding errors on coupons and such. I think it may have been the heat before that was affecting him. Hope so. Now my Mom isn't feeling well. Took her to the Urologist yesterday. Yea.....not a fun thing at all. Anyway she waited for a month for this appointment. About 3 weeks too long I'd say. But she's a wee bit stubborn and wouldn't tell them she needed to get in earlier. She's got a doosey of an infection!! They gave her some sample antibiotics to take untill her culture came back and this morning she was feeling puney. Her tummy was upset....a lot! Did she call the Dr. and ask if it could be the Antibiotics? No. Fact, she was feeling so bad she almost cancelled her nail appt.! That's pretty bad for MY Mom to think of that. We'll see how she is tomorrow. Cross the fingers. XX

The Grand-youngins'

this is 3-Pete lookin' all "cool"

This is Savanna lookin' all 'Glam' ..she had sequins on her bikini!! Cha-cha-cha!!

And of course Lovee w/ Tyler in a head lock...he loved that....3-Pete and Savanna!!

We had a fabulous time!! The storm rolled in of course because we made plans. That's ok though I'm not complaining. We needed the rain reaaaallll bad. We did a bunch of swimming then went to Mc D's then the Wal~mart cuz S had some Birthday $$ that was burning a hole in her pocket. Then to another local farm store where Lovee gets his special 'candy'( peanut butter logs) then to a fabulous play park buy our house. They played so hard they were almost sick. S said the "twisted thingie" made her want to barf! :) Then back to the house for MORE swimming. Lordie I was pooped. PHEW!!!

Just a thought...

FYI- If you have it in your possession...chances are that a TRUCKER brought it to the store where you bought it. I'm a bit bullish about long-haul truckers since Lovee did that for a time. I just had to post that...

Lottery tickets

After talking about 2 hours about the Lottery my parents asked me to buy them tickets. My Mom wanted 2 plus the power play so she gave me $4.00. My Dad, however had to make it difficult...not sure why he came up w/ this deal but he did. He gave me $5.00 and wanted 2 1/2 tickets. Huhhh? I said. " buy me 2 tickets w/ the power play and then another ticket w/ the power play but I'm only going to pay $1.00 for that one; you put in the other dollar and if it wins I'll split it w/ you. Follow me?" he says...."I'll give you $5.00 and you have to put in $1.00...follow me?" uh, yes I follow you.....but why don't you just give me another dollar or just give me $4.00 and I'll just buy you 2 tickets.......... " Coz i want 3 tickets" Ok................I give up...........done. Mom says I'd better hope she wins cuz she shares! We didn't win.:(

Errrrr, is it me or what?

I get soo pissed off whenever I hear ppl say, "Well, at least he/she died doing what they loved most"......Seriously........WTF!!!!! Nobody will ever be able to explain to me and have me agree WHY it's so great dying doing something you loved.......especially if the 'something' is the instrument of your death!! ' He loved to fly...at least he was flying when the plane crashed.' ' She loved to swim....at least she died doing something she loved.' 'He loved driving fast cars.....at least he was happy when he died' Seriously!! W.T.F.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's how my death is going to go in my mind...'Well, you know how much she loved watching HGTV, at least she died doing something she loved soo much. Too bad the T.V. blew up and the glass blew her head off.' Retarded thinking! Quit it!

Just fix it already!!!!!!

Ok.......this hair experiment you've got going isn't working is it tt? NO! Ok, so do something about it! Ok......easier said than done though. True, but since you seem to be defined by your hair ( in your own mind) then the sooner the better! Ok...so I've got to quit looking backwards to the elfing 90"s when big permed hair was in and find a short cut that I like. make a decision to get it cut. find a style that I like that isn't too labor intensive but is still cute find my "happy place" There, that doesn't seem to be so hard...does it? No, not really................the happy place may be difficult to find for a while tho... maybe, once the lid on the grape is in better shape I'll view myself in a better light. You know how friggin anal I am about my hair! I haven't been very successful in controling what goes into my body ( I evidently stress eat) or how freakin' big my body gets ( stress eating isn't good for body shapes) ...although my daily walks do seem to help my mood for a while.....It seems I should be able to gain some semblance of control over something within me. Shouldn't I ???? I sure hope I hear back from the Dr. this week. I'm thinking I probably am in desperate need of some estrogen or something... I'm not me anymore. I miss me actually................ I was always the optomistic one. I viewed my glass as half full most times. I believed in the power of positive thinking. Where did that go? I have been really upset this past week about my Dad. I'm starting to see 'mind' changes in him that I'm just not dealing with too well. I know it's a natural progression of things when ppl live this long but it's sooo hard to witness. I need that friggin easy button!!!!!!!!!! Anyone have one I can borrow?????? I promise to give it back.....I can't say when though because my present job doesn't have a set expiration date.

Correction.....

My last post should have said 3 out of 6 ain't bad. ETK and Squidly weren't in the picture. Not a complete family pic w/o them! Now...on to the parentals.... Dad seemed in better mental form today. He did play 9 holes of golf, bless his heart. It was 105 again today. Geez-o-pete! He was a bit wobbly when I picked him up, but after a shower and lunch he perked back up. No 'fog' today. Sisterlittle gets teary whenever she reads stuff about Daddy I think. She doesn't want me to post about it either I think. My phone reception wasn't very good when I talked to her today so I couldn't hear everything she was saying. But, the reason I initially started this blog was to post about my 'new' life with the parents. It really does help when I put it all down. I think it allows me to examine everything better and get some perspective. So, as unpleasant as some topics may be, this is my therapy for now. This is by far, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life! Without exception! Possibly the most rewarding also. And challenging and tiring and boring and lonely. There's lots of 'lonely' times believe it or not. I have alot of adjectives I could use but I'm sure you get my drift. I think I'll call #1 son's 'X' and see if the youngins can come over this Saturday for a swim and stuff. I miss those little buggers and need to recharge my battery. Cross your fingers the X says it's OK.

3 out of 4 ain't bad

Sunshine, Babyboy and Pups.............ain't they cute! Pups ws here for a business meeting so we didn't get much time to visit, but any time is better than no time! We went to dinner at Applebee's which ws really good. Pups and I had the same thing.....I can't remember now what it was but it was good. LOL

One of these days we'll have Rj here at the same time. Won't that be fun!

The daily challenge

My parents. That simple phrase would probably be all I need to say and I'm sure everyone would get it. They're changeing, right before my eyes and there's nothing I can do about it. It even too hard for me to explain. I can't put into words exactly how their acting that concerns me...it's just that they are. My Dad especially. Sisterlittle and I are the biggest "Daddy's girls" ever so it's really hard to watch the decline. He's remembering stuff wrong. Not just once and a while, most of the time. When I try and tell him how it is he gts agitated a bit and starts to argue...sorta. He did get a good report at the Diabetes Dr. yesterday though. That's good. He wanted her to look at his hand tho and tell him what was wrong. She told him she wasn't sure and that he should see his Hand Dr. He didn't quite understand why she didn't know what the problem was. She did see some pre-cancerous growths on his hand and face and she asked him if he wanted her to freeze them off. He said ok because it'll be a long time before he gets to the " hand Dr. for the surgery"...?????????? huh????? See, little stuff like that. I told him he wasn't going to have surgery and he was like." oh, ok". Puzzles....i've never really liked puzzles. Tomorrow he thinks he's going to play golf. Uh...it's like 105 here!! He rides in a cart but still that's too elfing hot! We'll see. Daily challenges. Gives me throat lumps. :(

I can do some weird stuff!!

mama's got a new phone Yep....I got it about a week ago. Actually I got a new one about a month ago when we signed up for a better plan. I was soooo excited about getting a new phone b/c my old one is about, oh....4 or 5 years old. There wasn't anything really wrong w/ it other than the battery wouldn't hold a charge for more than a day or so. ( too much trouble to get a new battery tt?) But it was old and I wanted a flip phone. How cool would that be I thought. I wouldn't have to lock the keys when I put it in my purse and then unlock it to use it. Plus...it was OLD...and it made me look a bit too challenged using it; like I wasn't 'in the know' about technology b/c I was using an old style. Anyway, I got a chocolate brown flip phone. I got Lovee a red one b/c that's his favorite color...plus the brown one would match Suzi-SU-V. Good reasoning yes?So, I'm learning how to use this one which is a challenge in itself b/c it's a Samsung and my old one was a Nokia, so everything is different. I like a challenge, don't get me wrong, but some challenges are harder than others; and technology is a challenge for me! Phew!!! Well, one day it just turned itself off. I tried to get it to work again and it wouldn't. So, off I go to the phone place and I say-- me- my phone quit working. him--Let's take a look. He gets my info and looks it up on the computer. He takes my phone and opens it up and says...... him--This has gotten wet. me--It has? I don't know how...I didn't get it wet. him-- well, look......it's all wet...that's why it isn't working. He shows me the battery and it's all wet so he wipes it off and checks my Sim card which appears to be fine. I'm still mumbleing to myself about how the damn thing could have gotten wet....I didn't have it anywhere there was water I tell him. Could it be the heat I ask....doubtful he replies.He asks what I was doing when I noticed it wasn't working. I say" well I had it when I was working outside in the yard...... and then...... later after I was cooling off.......I pulled it out of my br........ACK!!!!!!! OMG!!!!! I had it stuffed inside my BRA!!!!!!! It got sweaty sittin in my bra ????!!! Then I realized I was saying all of this outloud!! to the phone guy.!! Geezzzz.... could I be more ridiculous???So he graciously wiped everything off and put it back together and viola'...it worked. I stammered several 'thank you's' and took my red face outta there!Well.............evidently the sweat did hurt the phone afterall. B/c it kept turning itself off.So I took my Dad and went up there a few days ago to get us another phone. I decided to get a Nokia this time. It's not a flip but I thought it would work better.Well, I've been using that phone for about a week now and i HATE it! There's no volume control on the lousy thing. speaker , but no volume adjuster. It's going back... today I hope...Issues.....so many issues w/ phones I have. So, just a warning ladies. Don't store your phone in your bra, even if it does fit nicely and allows you to carry it around w/o actually holding on to it. The vibrateing feature actually feels pretty good..........but just say NO!

Wanna see something??

This is the Birdhouse bed that Lovee made for our guest room. I adore it!!
Just thought I'd share. :)

Lovee saved the day...again!

Look what lovee did for me. That damn lid won't get me again!!!!! :)

When I came home from the parents today he had already got this done. I didn't know he was trying to figure something out to help me with my dangerous laundry chores. He cut a bungee cord in half and stapled the rope to the cupboard above the wahser ( which, btw is the reason the lid falls down) and the end hooks nicely under the lip. viola'!!

What a guy!

Oops!! I was wrong

I was just reminded a few minutes ago that I didn't go 2 weeks w/o hurting myself. I discovered the burn on my arm from the ironing board! I got a wee bit to frisky while ironing my parents clothes last week. Klutz!!!