Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

I got this in an email...& almost blew snot bubbles ( Don't get a visual..it's really gross!) so naturally I had to share...some of this is good! I especially identify with # 21 :)

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13 . How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


Acrimony said...

Those are good! I think numbers 23 and 24 are my favorite!

Jay said...

"7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."

That one made me LOL. ;-)

CheekyMonkey said...

I love Larry the Cable Guy... Those are great!

R.E.H. said...

I certainly agree with number 21 there...

...so tell me, what the heck did happen?

I also laughed at the one about light vs. sound, and how that's why people appear bright until they speak ;)

tt said...

talisman: I know he meant it all to be funny...but most of this stuff is true..23 & 24 are so good.

jay: laughing is good..keeps depression away :)

Monkey: I love him too..too funny

reh:..LIFE that's what happened. It hits us square in the face then just rolls down the body..slowly ..slowly..so it's not noticed right away.. F*&ckers!!

Raven said...

I picked up on the same one Jay did - though didn't so much laugh out loud as moan quietly, "yeah."