getting squishie with it .......ha

Have you ever thought about tooth brushes? The electric kind? I know.......every morning right? lol..........
Well, you ought to see what an 83, soon to be 84 year old man who's legally blind and has Dementia does with his!!! Tuesdays are my ' wet cleaning' days. Bathrooms, non carpeted floors, sinks, tubs etc. My parentals don't use the same bathroom to bathe and stuff. Dad's is upstairs in my old room. There is a HUGE mirror, about 10 feet long or so that spans the length of the vanity. One sink. Each Tuesday I'm completely surprised at that I see on that vanity and mirror. Seriously!!!!! I know what's coming as I walk in there but still I'm amazed at the sheer volume of toothpaste mess. Toothpaste splatters are literally everywhere!!!!!! The whole length of the mirror.........the entire vanity and anything sitting on it....the shower doors behind it..... the walls....nothing is left untouched.....even the toilet! ( which has it's own mess mind you ) Cracks me up! lol
I think it would be like handing a 3 year old an electric toothbrush, telling him to brush his teeth and then leaving the room. Facinating ;) I can only imagine how long it takes him to find the off button.
Yep, it's a full life. :)
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Dad had 2 cancer spots cut off his ears yesterday morning. Guess what we talked about the rest of the day? hahaha...his bank statement! I'll never figure out how the mind works.
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My daily schedule was so off yesterday from Dr. appointments and grocery stores...3 grocery stores mind you....going to the bank about 'said' statement.....plus Dad loosing one of his night time syringes and not being able to find it...that's curious....that I completely forgot to do their weekly pillcases! I got a call from the Mom about 30 minutes after I had taken my sleepers. Well, shitfuckdamn! My bad. Drove back down to Tulsa, a 30 minute drive, filled the pills while listening to my Dad laugh about trying to find the pills in the empty case ( it really was funny ) and then the trip home. I think I was asleep 5 minutes later. I've filled those pill cases every Tuesday for almost 2 frickin years....and yesterday I forgot. whatever..........
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Monday will mark my 2 year anniversary of caregiving. Wow!! Time flies when you're having fun doesn't it?! lol
The ways in which my life have changed were unimaginable to me when I started this. The rollercoaster only has small dips now. Thank God! I'm actually starting to see the joys in this again. I can feel my compassion coming back. I feel a different kind of energy flow...slower but steady. I can do steady.
It's all good in TT's world now.
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Lovee is working an earlier shift at the Wal~mart DC this week. We're getting up at 3 AM! It's now 5:20 and I'm ready for my day. Insane I tell you....insane! lol
But, I've got to start my day with a bit of Lovee time you know...he's my hero. :)


Happy hump day blobbies.

Update.....or rambles.. :) .....

Good grief!! It's been almost a month since I posted anything. So much has gone on I don't know where to start......actually, it's a lot of nothing that's gone on. Does that make since?

First an update on my new 'miracle' meds. I really don't have the words to describe how I feel. It's different. In a good way. I haven't cried in 5 weeks. That's huge for me...HUGE!!! The simplest things would set me off. Well, what I called simple anyway. Mountains of squishie grape juice would just pour out of me and half the time I didn't know where it came from. Seriously. I mean, I knew it was because of taking care of the parentals and watching their slow decline and their daily struggles and all of the shit that goes with it, but I guess it just built so slowly that I didn't realize the toll it was taking. Add to it my insane desire to be a 'pleaser' to everyone....especially my folks...............well, I set myself up for failure. Not intentionally mind you, but none the less.........that's the out come. Why would I expect so much from myself that I wouldn't expect someone else? I have no answer for that. Not going to examine that anymore either.
Am I rambling? Probably. Here's some more....lol

When I started this blog.......I did it as a way to get things off my chest so to speak. Once I say something out loud or put it into writing....it's usually gone. Done. Off my mind. Usually forever actually..,....
Now that I'm on the miracle 'happy pills'...I no longer feel the need to express myself. That's curious to me. Very curious. I no longer obcess on things....I don't over analyze things to death...
All good things. I see sunshine everyday....I feel joy....but can recognize sorrow and acknowledge it without a melt down. Curious.

I saw my Dr. yesterday for a review of what's been going on since I started the meds. He said he was very, very worried about me and that "I made his day" by seeing that the meds were working and he didn't have to try something else. Me too. :)

Another thought that does go through my squishie grape is this blog. I'm sure it's the meds, but I actually have no desire to post anything. I do find that curious....a wee bit anyway.
My extreme emotions are repressed....or perhaps compressed.....and I like it that way.
So, frequent posting from me will probably go by the wayside.......
I may write from time to time....about Dad's new looping on coins.....he can't remember what they are or what they're for....or Mom' new forgetfullness....or that all of their friends are dropping like flys and we attend way too many funerals.......or that how I have to tell Mom how to start the dishwasher every week.....how Dad's becoming obcessive about his failing health...
little things like that. :) did I just say 'little'? lol

I'm in a contented place right now. I'm just going to go with that and enjoy what life brings me.

MIA...Me???

Thought I'd pop on here for a few minutes and give ya'll a bit of an update. As if you've been wondering.....
Not sure if anyone noticed...probably not...but I've had a wee bit of a struggle going on for a while now. My poor saintly Lovee took the brunt of my struggles....as any adoring and lovable hubs would do.. ;) I've often said that "Lovee saved me"....as I start a story or end one. He did it again. Literally I think.
This caregiver gig I have is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever taken on in my entire life. When I started it, I was so naive in my thinking I wondered what all the hub-bub was about. How could it be so challenging to take care of parents I wondered. Sure, they're old and set in their ways; sure, we had challenging times while I was growing up; sure, there would be good days and not so good days.....
Well, I've done this now for almost 2 years. Fact, it'll be 2 years the first of May. And... now it's happened.
I crashed and burned.
I got to the point where all I did was cry. I thought my wallpaper challenge would help keep me focused on something else other than my complete dread of being at the parentals house. It helped a bit...but when my neck went south, so did my mood. Again. It got to the point that when I got home and Lovee would ask about my day ( as he always does ) all I could do was cry.
Lovee was a rock. The best rock I've ever found. Which is sort of funny because I literally collect rocks where ever we go. Hummm...interesting......
I really didn't know what was going on. I just didn't understand it. I just wanted to sit and veg on the couch or sleep...and then sleep didn't help either. Lovee said he thought I may need some medication to help me through this and possibly talking to a counselor might help. I mulled it over for a day or so....decided to wave my white flag and give it a go. What do I tell the Dr. I asked? What do I say? I can't even talk to Lovee w/o crying....what do I do??????

Lovee called our Dr. and made an appointment for me. He went with me. What happened? I cried. Huge racking sobs. And poor Lovee...I looked at him once and saw his own tears..that made me feel worse and at the same time...so completely and unconditionally loved.
I left there with samples of a depression meds...enough to last 6 weeks...to see if it will work for me before we spend $$ for the meds. Also the name and phone number of a counselor to talk with. The Dr. said the change wouldn't happen over night...it may take a while but to hang in there and give them a go.
It didn't take but a few days before I felt a change. I remember coming home one evening and realized I had a big huge smile on my face when I saw Lovee. The smile stayed.
It's been almost 2 weeks now. I continue to feel differently....more in control....less stressed...
One reason is turning my thought process around too. I realized one day that some how I'd given my 'power' away. I gave it up to my parentals. Why? Not sure...easier I guess...but it hurt me. I've taken it back now.
Have they suffered from it? Not at all! Do they notice? I doubt it. They're blind.
I have noticed that I seem 'compressed'....or perhaps I mean 'repressed'. Both at times. I don't seem to have big joys like I used to...but then again the 'big sorrows' are gone too. I'm sure it'll take time for my body to adjust.
I can wait.

Lovee surprised me again...he decided we needed some time away. Just the 2 of us. This weekend we're going to Branson. It's not far...but we'll have a great time relaxing and doing what ever we want. My beck and call girl duties will be lovingly taken care of by my sunshine gal!!! Lovee arranged that too.

I've always known I'm blessed. But these days, it's in the front of my mind instead of getting pushed to the back recesses of my squishie grape.

Anywho....I haven't read anyone in a while. Still concentrating on .....dare I say it?.....me. I think about all of you...all the time. Is that silly? I find myself wondering what's going on....but I just don't check.... Is that selfish? Probably not....
I heart all of you I read. Seriously.

Fact....I've decided if anyone wants to contact me via email....not rely on the blog...it's fine by me.

So, I'm putting my email out there for all to see.

terrilady@cccexpress.com

Guess that gave away my name didn't it ;)
It's ok. I'm not afraid.
I've been saved ;)

It's WHAT time??????

Woke up at 3 elfing a.m. this morning. A pain in the neck....literally! Ugh!!! I have a cervical collar that I keep in my nightstand. I know....been there before....gotta keep it handy for when the neck decides to betray me. Yesterday was the betrayal day. Must have been the awkward positions I got into...or rather have been getting into lately. What positions and why???? Not the fun stuff I tell ya ;)lol

Well.......I decided the parentals house need updating....so I've been stripping wallpaper . I loathe wallpaper now. LOATHE!!!!!!!!
The paper itself comes off in a snap. The sticky stuff..not so much. Lots of scoring and goop....scrape...goop...scrape.....goop.....
in the Dad's bathroom no less. Obviously not my favorite place to spend my days but it REALLY need updating. Plus...as hard as it is, it's an escape of sorts. And we all know how I love to escape. Even my car, Suzi, is a Ford Escape! lol

Dad uses one of the upstairs bathrooms cuz they don't like to share. (Whatever makes them happy I say) The sitting room off the bath has wallpaper too. Got the paper off that yesterday. Have to score it today. More of the scrape,goop,scrape,goop......my life is full I tell ya.
After the paper is off and the walls are clean I'll paint. NO MORE FUCKING WALLPAPER!!! EVER!!!!!!!!
Then, there's the other bathroom upstairs. Not to mention the halls and stairwell!!! It'll take me months to finish but I'm determined to update that house.
Plus...PLUS..there's carpeting in Dad's bath! I know.....it's soooo gross. One too many accidents have happened in there. Not sure he'll let me take that up.....may have to wait until....they... move?....
Anyway....my neck goes out from time to time. That's why I've got the collar. I hate it but it works. Not to mention the pain pills I put with it. Pain pills are a necessary evil I think.
So, here's how my day is shaping up.
Up at 3....4 Advil + one pain pill= tired. Less pain but now I'm a wee bit loopy.
It's now 7:15 and I'm tired. Can't go back to bed cuz I have to go to the parentals. If I was gainfully employed somewhere I'd call in sick and rest up. If I'm not up to par these days...I have to go in anyway....the parentals say I can rest there; which is true, but I'm still at their beck and call.....resting just doesn't happen at their house.
I'm crabby when I hurt.
Wonder if this happened so I'd be more sympathetic towards the Mom? She's always in pain...takes Morphine and Percocet 4 times a day!.....failed back surgeries. She's a complainer though. She raised sisterlittle and I to NOT complain if we're hurt....Guess she forgot that one...or perhaps it's just too much for her??? Naw....she's an attention whore....seriously.
So, I'll bitch here....on my blob.....get it out of my system....and go on.
That's what I do..... plus....
I'll just escape upstairs......

Coupons..... really? what the.....hummmm...

People who save $$$$$$$ on coupons baffle me. Seriously. For the life of me I just don't get it. I'm a clipper ; every Sunday, without fail, I find the coupons and clip whatever I think we'll use. I'm almost in the OCD category about it. I actually see it as throwing money away if I don't clip. UGH!! I then put them in my not-so-handy coupon keeper, put them in the car and usually forget to take them into the store with me. :( Geesh!!!!!! I need a bigger purse I think so I can stash them in there and they'll always be with me...
Great!! Now I need to buy a bigger purse.....more $$...............any coupons for Born purses out there?? I saw one online that I LOVE!! ;) lol

I've listened to the shows who have coupon experts on.....read stories on Couponmom.....I just can't figure out how they get stuff for free....or for $.79 that would normally cost $2.89. What am I missing???

Sisterlittle says.....and so do I for that matter that I'm an LD kid at heart. ( learning disabled) but really.........I just don't get it and I want to. I need a tutorial or something. A s...l...o...w...tutorial....so my grape can absorb it all.
Is that so much to ask for?? Is it?? Really????

My grape is really squishie today. Can you tell?
I wonder if there's a coupon for a juicer??

Have a good week :)

a small request for my blobbies....

Lovee and I watched a movie last night on HBO. I have no words to describe my feelings through it all. To say I had the dreaded 'throat lump' all the way through it comes close though.

It's called "Taking Chance".

It's a must see even if you do cry and feel horrible....because afterwards you'll feel humble and in awe and you will never be the same. Seriously.

It's a story about a Marine Colonel who volunteers to escort a fallen Marine home and his journey getting there.

I'm a Marine wife. I had one son in the Army and another in the Marines. My brother was killed in 67 in Viet Nam.
I had no clue that there was such a process.
Not a clue.

Please watch it. In my humble opinion it's a must see for the entire country.

Semper Fi

I'm back!!!

Guess what I didn't take to Denver........my camera!!!
OMG!! .......seriously.......I looked all over for it for days before I left and couldn't find the damn thing! SFD!

Had a fabulous flight there and back. Completely surprised myself by being calm. Of course the fact that I had a double 7&7 before each flight probably helped. lol
Denver airport was actually fairly easy to figure out. Did you know they have a 'smoking lounge'...? yep.....used it before I left Monday! ha...imagine that!

When sisterlittle pulled up to get me the first words I said were " Hey skiny bitch"...lol
There was a gal on the curb waiting for her ride who started laughing and said " Your sister?"
I said yep ....she said she says the same thing to her sister. LMAO..........good times.

Had the most fabulous time with her. The party Friday night to celebrate her divorce which was official on thursday...and my arrival was the bestest! She has an amazing group of friends..so supportive and caring and fun and loud when they're drunk. lol....who knew teachers were such partiers?
We shopped and shopped and ate and shopped and talked and talked.........slept a wee bit too. :) Her house is absolutely perfect for her. Exactly her style and since she was an interior designer before she became a teacher.....it's decorated perfectly. LOVE IT!!!

But no pictures.:(
I was going to buy a disposable one but never got around to it. Dammit! We did buy her one but she didn't have time to learn it. :(
Next time.....
We've aleady decided that I'll go back next year for the 'anniversary' party!

Lovee was wonderful to the parentals of course. He got to skip church on Sunday though. He was working on a project and asked if they would skip church so he could finish before I got home and they agreed.
We have a 3 car garage and the 3rd garage side is his workshop.....we've been talking about building a wall so all the wood dust wouldn't fly all over.....and he did! OMG.,.....it's perfect. He's got all his tools....tons of tools and woodworking equipment all organized........wow! He's just amazing.
I sooooo missed him though. I really don't like going places w/o him. I miss him terribly. But......sometimes I gotta. Sisterlittle needed me and I needed to see her. So..........

Anywho, Im officially back.
The washing machine is humming.....pooches are running in and out...HGTV is on the television... the bed's made...bills are paid.....I'm ready to head out to the parentals....uh-O...
Oh shit!!.......I haven't done my paint and spackle yet.....SFD!
Gotta jet..........

I'll try and catch up with everyone later on .....I missed ya'll......;)

P.S. Found the camera the night I got back! It was in my sewingroom! Right where I left it after taking a pic of my Sunshine gal sewing. Imagine that! UGH!....my grape is so grapey at times :)

My yesterday, today and tomorrow....

Yesterday, the Dad walked over to me with newspaper in hand and says
" TT, are you busy?"
" Nope, what ya need?"
" Well, ( insert slight giggle ) read this article, it starts here(pointing) and tell me if you can figure out what the hell it says. (giggle) I can't figure out what it means."
" Ok....( reading)"

A few minutes pass...............while the Mom say to mute the TV.......she wants to listen.

"Well, it's just talking about how a guy lost 3 friends to a shooting....and how the shooting happened."
" But who are all those people they're talking about?"
" "The people who died, the person who did the shooting and how he was caught...how the people are related. There are a lot of different names mentioned.....they were related but had different last names."
" Well, I couldn't follow it. It's not written very well I don't think."
" No it's not Dad........It was hard for me to follow too.'
" Ok, I thought it was just me"
" Nope......the writer added too much information."
"Well, ok. I just couldn't figure out what was going on"
" that's ok......it's the writers fault not yours."
" Well, ok."
Mom says nothing...........hummmmmm....

Now........looks like a short conversation right? Nope. It actually went on for about 30 minutes! Seriously. From "well, I couldn't follow it"................to "Well, ok." .....took 30 minutes. Looping,looping.looping...................
It's wonderful that he still reads. Tries to keep up on current events and still tries to process it all. Kudos to him I say.

This is a regular happening. My life as an explainer; justifier; Reassuring that everything is 'ok.'

It hurts my heart to see him struggle while his mind slips away. But, I'm comforted by the fact that I'm here to help guide him through it all.
Comforted and tired. So, tired.
Dementia..........it's a horrible thing to watch.....day after day....knowing I have no power to stop it's ugly process.

I'm ready to see my sisterlittle.
I need just a wee break. And because of my sweet Lovee, I get one.

Watch out Denver!!!!!! Here comes TT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A wee grape squish.....

Well, Valentines day was totally fabulous!!!!! Lovee sent a quartet to sing to the Mom and me!!!! Can you imagine??? It was so cute. they sang "Let me call you sweetheart". I cried of course, cuz I'm a crier. Seriously...I cry during OnStar commercials.....McDonald's commercials...you name it...I cry. It's just what I do. Fact, there are time I want to talk to someone and I can't because I've got that dreaded throat lump thing going on. Geesh....
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Anywho......what else???...........

Friday I leave for Denver!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!! I hate...HATE to leave Lovee. But, I'm looking forward to visiting my Sisterlittle and seeing her new digs. Her divorce is final tomorrow. She's excited to have it done! Imaging that! Lovee will takeover the 'beck and call girl' duties for me with the parentals. He's just the most fabulous husband in the world.

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My sunshine gal is finally done with her weight loss thing. Gracious sakes....she's down to a size 4!!!!! She came over this weekend so I could help her make an apron.....she's so into aprons these day....go figure.....anywho, she tried on her High School Prom dress and it's loose!!! She looks fabulous but more importantly she's healthier now. Her Diabetes risk is gone. YAY FOR THAT!!!!! I used to sew all the time. Not so much anymore. But it's fun to pass along my skills to her.
I'm still the fluffy one....sisterlittle is tiny too.......most days I'm fine with it...others, not so much. Like when I went shopping Monday looking for some new clothes...ugh!! Hated it!!! I haven't bought any everyday clothes in a long time. Now I remember why. All the meds I take have a tendency to sabotage my weight. Oh well......things could always be worse though. There are blogs I read that keep my bitching in check when it comes to body image and issues. :) Gotta keep my glass half full ya know.

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I'm sure there's more I could share, but I'm just not feeling it lately. There have been several times recently when I've tried to read blogs when I'm at the parentals...but it just gets too hard. They always....ALWAYS....have questions or 'need' me to do something whenever I try. I think they can sense when I pull the laptop out and.....it just goes to shit. Whatever....:) then at night, when I get home, well, that's my Lovee time. Should I blog or spend time with Lovee???? Guess which one wins out? lol- my sweetie!!!

Have a good one blobbies. :)

Brains....or lack there of...

I'm not sure what made me have this particular thought. I admit that my grape goes to strange and unimaginary places sometimes.....part of my charm I think ;)

But..........I was wondering about my dogs. My Chihuahua's....Pebbles and Panda. Sometimes when we go out, Lovee leaves the TV on for them. For the noise he says. My SIL puts the Animal Planet station on for her pup....we just leave it on whatever channel we were watching.
So...while I was in my paint and spackle mode this morning....which is when my grape gets really active ( don't ask...I don't know why) I wondered if...when they look at the TV...do they ever wonder about what they're seeing? Do they think " geez...I'm glad I'm not in that box cuz it's really noisy....or......those people sure yell alot, I'm glad I'm not there....or....when they see animals, do they get curious and wish they were with them?

I know...silliness maxed out!

Which made me go to another querie. My own grape. There's some scary shit up there. Really....I spent a good part of last night telling Lovee how I'm jealous of people's brains. Musicians....using both hands AND their feet sometimes...all making different motions while reading music ( something I never could do)..and singing to boot!!!...It's like rubbing your head and patting your tummy at the same time. Doesn't work for me. imagine that! My brain just refuses to go there. And don't even get me started on Professors and politicians. Not that they're similar actually, but they all have brains that function on a completely different plane than mine does. I listen to some of them....amazed that others are actually understanding what was said and I'm just shaking my head saying " wha.....?"
I can't speak with big words and make any sense....but I can dance.
I can't do fractions to save my life....but I can dance.
Dance. It's my one talent. Or was. Tap, ballet, point..........loved and love everything about it.
Can't sing but I can hum......I'm a hummer ;)
My brain....I'm glad I've got it...it's serving me well.....but really, will I spend the rest of my life with silly thoughts?
See, even that doesn't make any sense.
What was it I did in High School anyway?..........hummmm, can't remember......
LOL

'Grape Juice' makes Dad feel better????

Today, sitting in church waiting for all the festivities to start the Mom looks at me and says:
" Did you turn off your cell phone"
I started laughing. And answered her question with a question. I know I shouldn't do this because it's totally backfired on me before but.....it came out before I knew it...
" Do you only remember the wrongs I do?"
Well........her answer gave me pause. Seriously........
" No, it's just that they are so few that they stick in my mind. You do too many wonderful things for me to remember."

What????? did she just compliment me? I think so. A bit of a backhanded compliment but none the less, a compliment.
I just smiled and said yes it was off.
Thanks Mom.

Not sure what's going on with her lately. She will come up to me...out of the blue... put her arms around me and give me a big ol squeeze. Usually from behind so it takes me by surprise. I'm cooking or doing dishes or something.
That is out of character for her. Completely. She never was an affectionate person. Showing feelings makes her vulnerable and uncomfortable. Used to anyway. Maybe her crusty interior is crumbling. Not the exterior mind you.....she still LOOKS crusty......but inside...getting a bit mooshy. Interesting.
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Now the Dad.....he's not feeling too perky these days. Not sure what's going on there. He doesn't give in to anything though. Yesterday when I got there and asked my usual..... "How are my parents?" Mom gave her usual reply of " Ok..got up hurting but I'm ok now" Dad's usual is " tolerable,tolerable...." but yesterday he said he was "sort of dizzy feeling". Hummmm.......
His sugar was a bit lower than normal for him so I got him some orange juice and he said he was ready to go to breakfast. "Can't make your Mom wait too much longer for her breakfast" he said. So off we went. He still felt dizzy afterwards but he wanted to go to the mall for their daily walk. So off we went. He felt a bit better when we got home.
This morning I asked the usual question....and his answer was " I didn't feel good last night...I almost woke your mother up to have her check my temperature."

Mom: Don't wake me up to read that thing cause I can't see it...and why didn't you tell me you felt bad?"
Dad: "You didn't ask."
Mom: "Well, what was wrong and how are you now?"
Dad :" I just felt all warm and sort of tinglie...all over...and my head hurt. I thought I might have a temp-a-ture" ( that's how he says it...lol)
Mom: "you're fine now right?"
Dad: Well, not really. Are we ready to go?"
Me: Are you sure you feel up to going? Maybe we should stay here and rest."
Dad: No, you're Mother is ready so let's go."
Mom: Ok, let's go."

So, off we went. He was better afterwards. He said the grape juice gave him a boost. Ha....it was Communion Sunday.....I thought of my blob!!

See, he just doesn't give in.
The Mom....she gives in alot.

Interesting

cold!!

yep....elfing cold!! 10 degrees today! But...and that's a big but... ( teehee)....the sun has made an appearance. Yay!
Sleet, freezing rain, snow, sleet, sleet= icey roads everywhere now. Uck!

I've got to try and get to the parentals today. Didn't make it yesterday. Had me a pj day. Woot!

Gotta jet...........
wish me luck with the do-dah's out there. :)

Loving that I can still learn......

For those of you who didn't know, as I didn't, the Rev. Lowery began his benediction at President Obama's Inauguration with the last verse of the Negro National Anthem, specifically:

"God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou, who has brought us thus far along the way, thou, who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee.
Shadowed beneath thy hand, may we forever stand true to thee, oh God, and true to our native land."


I'd never heard of a Negro National Anthem before. It doesn't surprise me that I wasn't taught this. When I went to school here in Oklahoma in the 60's and 70's, our schools were segregated. It was only when I was a junior in High School that 'blacks' voluntarily were bussed to my school.
I made friends with many of them. Not because of their color but because I was just a people person. And I must admit a certain curiosity as I hadn't known any blacks personally. The closest I came was the maid we had for a while and the fact that my brothers best friend in Viet Nam was black. That was the extent of my knowledge. Sad actually.
I could never see any difference except skin color and the part of town 'they' lived in wasn't as nice as mine. Even sadder.
I remember admiring their 'tan'....often wishing I was as beautifully colored. My Irish/German ancestery kept me rather pale.

One of my blobbie friends pointed this fact...the anthem...out to me. I just never knew.
It's beautiful. Simple and beautiful. And I love it. I'm glad it has been around to inspire the masses and I'm glad I've been enlightened to this fact.
Silly me, I just thought it was a lovely prayer.

I hope I never stop learning.
It makes my soul shine with happiness.

really??? Seriously??? Get real man!!!!!!!

Can I just say something???
Well shit...of course I can. This is my blog and I can tell someone to F off anytime I want to.
Did anyone hear what Rush Limbaugh said ????? The audacity of that man totally confounds me. I mean, come on!!!!!! I can't for the life of me understand why anyone....especially an American, who purports to love his country (like Raunchy-Rush)would say he hopes President Obama 'FAILS". Seriously! Come on!!!!!........
Even when we or should I say 'I' have a President whom I/we don't agree with, it's just not right to publically say it's a hope that our President fails. It's not a Republican issue or a Democrat issue. It's a country issue.
Because if they were to fail then we all do. Sure some policies suck or ideas are put into play that don't exactly help us the way 'we' think they should....but to say "I hope he fails" is just too arrogant for me.
Maybe I've worn my rose colored glasses too long or my Pollyanna ideas still poke me in the ol' grape too often but...........really. Really?
Freedom of speech is important. Totally important!! I get that. But so is personal responsibility for ones actions and along with that, their speech.
Personally, I've never cared for Rush. I think he's a bore and a braggart. I think he uses his platform to bully and point out the flaws of everyone but himself.

That being said....this is just my humble opinion. I take full responsibility for my words and thoughts. I'm not on a radio program where I'll share my thoughts with millions of other people. I'm not that brash nor do I feel the need of saying something in public to garner a bunch of attention to feed my ego.
I just needed to vent a bit.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh........he really gets under my skin.
Now I need a bath........I gotta scrub that shit off.
*******************************************************************
On a more interesting note.............we're frozen here. Litterally!! Ice storm...again. Not as bad as the one we had in December of 07...but bad enough that I won't be able to get to the parentals tomorrow! Eeeeeeekk! Needless to say the Mom isn't happy. Really? pfft....
Either I stay home tomorrow so I can arrive safe Wednesday......or......I risk it tomorrow and maybe end up in a mangled mess on the highway. Which is it Mom? Hummmm?? Oh??? Stay home then?? Ok...:) thankyouverymuch.
I fixed their pill containers Sunday after church just in case I couldn't get there. That was the Dad's idea and a good one. There's plenty of food in their house that she can fix. Casseroles in the freezer...speghetti sause in the freezer....homemade soup in the freezer....lots of food. No appointments untill Wednesday. They'll be fine. She's not convinced.

I should let her borrow my rose colored glasses or read Pollyanna to her. Maybe????

So, tomorrow, Lovee is going to try and make it to work. Gotta get those Wal~mart trucks out on the road ya know. I'll be keeping all my crossables crossed for him; possibly holding my breath untill he calls and tells me he's there.
Then..........my pajamma day will start. Woo-hoo!!

Have a good day!
Wave at the sun for me and send him over :)

Squishing some grapes....

there's a....what do I call it?......annoyance maybe.....that has agravated me FOREVER. it's actually fairly petty so I haven't mentioned it before...i don't think. :) maybe I have, I don't know...don't care...I'm just gonna vent a bit........
anywho, it concerns the Mom. Bet you guessed this already didn't you? lol...ahem.....

Mom has this habit of giving orders. it's not something new; she's always done it. She doesn't request or ask, she orders. it completely irks me. In fact, there are times I want to ground her and send her to her room when she does it...THAT'S how much it pisses me off.
"turn the TV to channel 8"
"don't put the table so close to the window"
"get me a kleenix"
"go get........"
"bring .............."
"do................"
"stop doing that"
"if you want me to listen talk louder"

It's not the demands or 'orders' per se...it's that she seldom, if ever, says 'please' or 'if you don't mind would you'...or even thank you after the task is completed. Drives me nucking futs I tell you. AND...in the process of saying these things she's got a nasty frown on her face. Well, that's not entirely accurate....the nasty frown is just the way her face is...I think it froze that way. Seriously.

All this got me to thinking.....
sisterlittle and I were raised by the 'do as I say, not as I do' rule. I remember her admonishing us...out in public, if we ever forgot to say thank you or please. it was expected of us to do these things....but not expected of her.
this is no exageration. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!
sisterlittle and I are every polite. For which I thank the Mom for actually..............but I suppose it just never occurred the Dutches of mean to apply her own lessons to herself.

Demanding little shit .................. just take a deep breath tt

Like I said. It's petty but geeze Lousie............it just goes all over me like a bad elfing rash!!!!

Just because you're old doesn't give you the right to order people around.
Anyway....I said "please" to her when she 'told' me to do something earlier today. ....

Mom: " tt,make the cookies ."
me: ......(sigh)....please??
Mom: "please what?"
tt: "aren't we supposed to say please when we want something?"
Mom: "am I a child"
tt: " no, but that's just polite...at least that's what my Mom used to tell me when I was little"
Mom: " your Mom had a big mouth...(long pause)......please"
Tt: .......thank you....I'll make them after lunch if that's ok
Mom: that's fine.........(long pause)...............thank you.

Pffftttttt...............whatever..........
I'm over it now.....for now...until it happens again..........
cookies are good.........oatmeal raisen with pecans!! Yummy!

Another funny...I just can't help it...

Kitty Stutter


A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human Beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss" and before he could say "Shit," the Rottweiler ate him!

The teacher wet her pants laughing.

squishie...squishie.....( snort)

I wonder if when Michele Obama walk into a room full of ladies if she belts out-

"Hola Bitches!!"

Yea...I don't think so either..........gigglesnort.
Wonder if she ever has??
yea, probably not...........
Good thing Lovee isn't into politics.....I'd be hung out to dry...litterally! ha

She's just so classy acting....made me wonder yesterday when she was being all prim and proper. I do that too...when I have to. At church ( duh) and at the Country Club with the parentals ( pfft) and when Lovee was in the USMC and we were at the Ball ( FUN!!)
I'm just glad I don't have to do it often. Ugh...I'd be exhausted. lol

todays funny.......

Got this in an email yesterday and I almost blew snot bubbles. I shouldn't read stuff when I'm drinking. lol

"You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as
you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people
are really staring you down, and that's when you realize,
you have been listening to your ipod."

Sounds just like something I would do!!!

Well,,whatcha think?

Hummmmmmmmmm??????....just trying out something I learned over at the Fairy Princess' blog. Interesting yes???? No?????
I'm thinking it's groovy-cool.
AND...more inportantly....I did it all by myself...Ta-dah!!!
Fiwa also has one on hers. I always thought it was the neatest thing but was too shy to ask her how she got it....not to mention my whole 'I'm-challenged' thing. then I saw Princess K with one and thought....what the heck..let's give it a go.....lol

FYI-here's the place to get one..

picture overload...

Lovee and SIL after the funeral. Lovee was scrunched down on the couch....looks like he's coming out of his coat...lolBabyboy aka..#3 son, Sunshine gal and Pups aka..#2 son after the funeral. The boys had on sunglasses earlier and looked a wee bit mafia. lol

have you seen enough of my gorgeous sisterlittle??? There's a lot more below...I can't get enough of her....I love her hair. She went gray a long time ago. Me.....just a few sprinkles here and there...bummer! Of course she's a skinny do-dah and I'm fluffy....whatever...lol

If the Mom knew I put this picture anywhere but the trash she'd have my head!!!!!!!!!! This is her normal look though....uh-huh....reminds me of those Maxine cards only w/o the humor. But hey...I guess when your blind and 84 you can look any way you want...right?