Monday, May 28, 2007

Emotional load limits

I'm beginning to understand a wee bit about what everybody was talking about when I first said I was going to care for my parents. I don't necessairly agree that is is hard, in fact it's less stress than I'm sued to. Of course their health isn't really bad right now so that's subject to change. Anyway, I have such an emotional attachment to them, dud!, that it's hard to turn it off when I leave for the day. I think we've almost switched roles. Not totally, but in the worry department we have. I sometimes find myself wondering if they're ok when I'm not there. Sort of like whenever parents go out for the evening and they ask each other if they should " call and check on the kids"....that sort of thing. I don't do it because the "real" me thinks that's silly and I know I have to let limits. Otherwise I'll get overloaded w/ exhaustion and fatigue and my personal happiness may suffer. Gotta watch that. Of course that also puts a strain on my on the grape....the constant influx of emotions...the constant reminding I do, to myself, to back off.
I've got to give myself a load limit. A limit of the # of things I can effectively worry about. Which are things I could actually DO something about verses things that are out of my control. I need to build space in my life for rest and peace.

That being said, I'm not sure exactly how to go about it. The time off that we've created will surely help. Today is my first whole day off. I actually slept untill 8:30!! That's completely out of my norm. Must have needed it tho. Woke up refreshed and rareing to go.

I wonder if ppl ever get to a state where everything around them is running like clockwork; where everything in their universe is right on course. Where there is a perpetual light at the end of the tunnel. I doubt it. It sounds nice in theory but in reality it would probably get boring.

Now that I've squished the grape.....I feel better. I think i'll go work in the yard w/ Lovee.
That's ALWAYS fun!


ETK said...

Yay! I missed your blogging for the weekend. :) I don't think anyone ever gets things running like clockwork. Ever. YOu just gotta make it LOOK like it's running smoothly. :)

Seriously - if there is anything at all I can do to take some of the load off let me know, K???

tt said...

Ahhhhh, now I get it!
ummmmm, about that load....there is one thing you could do......
tell me how to get skinny!!! ha ha

ETK said...

Step away from the crack pipe woman.