Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I did it..

I called her yesterday. When she finally recognized my voice she was all cheerie and happy to hear from me. So I said, "well, what's going on". She spent the next 20 minutes or so filling me in on how she had to put her beloved dog Casey down on Sunday. I adored Casey. She was a German Shepherd/collie mix and one of the most loving dogs ever. She rescued Casey from the shelter. Actually I think they were both rescued that day. So we talked about him and her other pets and their issues and I filled her in on the Dad's up coming Brain Surgeon appointment and we talked abut that. When I had to go she thanked me for calling and told me she loved me.

So, I think for now, I'm just going to go with the consensus and just accept it for what it is. Our relationship changed a few years ago when she felt I should have told her some stuff, concerning our girls, and I didn't. I still stand by the decision I made. My 'old soul' Sunshine girl daughter, reminded me of the fall out. Silly me, I remember my bff telling me how it effected her but I'd forgotten what it was all about. Well, now I remember....very well I might add. Well, I can't change what's gone on in the past. It's pointless to dwell on it. Either we go forward or we sit and get stagnant. Right ? I'm choosing to go forward. That's what I do.

So, I'm putting that issue in a silver box. Then I'll stow it in that deep dark room in my grape that's reserved for painful-stuff-that-I-can't-do-anything-about. I'll just quietly shut the door so the lid stays on tight. I don't want to disturb the contents anymore. I'll let them get comfortable and settled in to their new surroundings; because they'll be there for a long time.

It is what it is ....

( note to self....must remember this saying...look on your wall's up there.....keep focused on it.)

Thank you all for your thoughts. Everyone had good points for me to ponder...and I did. I'm thinking that this blog has turned out to be more than I ever thought it could be. Thanks again for caring.


R.E.H. said...

Well, it's nice to know she still loves you as a friend though. Even if you aren't going to be as close as you once were.

CheekyMonkey said...

Mwaahhh... smooches.

Dianne said...

If I had a dime for every time I say - "it is what it is" - well I could afford to have someone say it for me.

I'm glad you called, I'm glad she still loves you and I'm especially glad that you have found some peace over this.

Hugs my friend.

Diane J Standiford said...

Same thing with me and so many "friends," I finally let them all go. One came after me then, apologizing, I told her it was too late;I left to another state. Thought one day I would see her again, I was there when her kids were born..she died about ten years ago. The other one, I called, but it was so strained, we emailed for the years her son lived in my city, she married my brother and dumoed me, I'll never know how she could--we were so close. Finally her disregard for my feelins about all that happened with my mom/aunt was it. I will never speak to her again. I know what I needed from her and she can not give it; I needed her to acknowledge how she hurt me. She won't. End of story. THIS is a relaionship I am at peace with. I give , used to, too much while asking too little in return. I am worth more than that and I can only assume I am not wanted by the person. At 51, I lose no sleep over these people, no one has to like me.